In case it still wasn't obvious enough, one of my major pet peeves (in fact, I'd say it's my one and only pet peeve), is bad English. I just cannot deal with it. It makes me want to gouge my eyes out and throw them in the face of said person with bad English. THIS IS WHAT I THINK ABOUT YOUR TERRIBLE GRAMMAR AND RIDICULOUS SPELLING, BITCH.

Labels: pointless post is pointless, random rants

It's just one of those days where I get a horrible mental block, can't seem to string two sentences together coherently, and end up beating myself up for being a shitty writer. And then I start thinking about career things ten years in the future, and I don't even know whether I'm being irrational or (oh god forbid) realistic. I just know I am extremely irritated with myself right now and I'm going to start projecting this irritation onto many other things, out of which this FUCKING SDU magazine which I got in the mail is right on top of the list. These are my awesome drinking buddies ♥ Oh yes we drink all the time when we meet. In fact Universal Studios day might be the only time we didn't drink. They're very expensive and unhealthy friends to have but so good for the soul hahaha.

(bloody hell why is the collage so blurry)

Labels: random rants

Okay SERIOUS pet peeve: people who can even barely be considered as part of the media who take pictures of every single goodie bag/event ever they've been to and put them up on Facebook. It's already slightly annoying when you are legit media, but it's a million times worse when the so-called publication you're working for is essentially just a blog.

Yes I am evidently friends with said person on Facebook, and it pisses the fuck out of me.


And while I'm ranting, I'd also like to rant about the bitch of a doctor I always go to. Well, you ask, if she's so much of a bitch why are you still going to her? First of all, I live in the middle of fucknowhere. Bedok may be a 10 minute walk away, but the polyclinic smells of death and I always feel like I'm going to pick up an extra virus or two when I'm there. Secondly, while her clinic isn't the only one that's within 2 minutes of my house, it's the only one with air-conditioning. I ain't going to no clinic with no airconditioning when I'm sick like a dog okay.

So anyway this bitch of a doctor is clearly one of those doctors who chose to go into medicine because of the money. She's got zero bedside manners to speak of, is always dishing passive aggressive backhanded remarks and has that bitch face on 24/7. (I should have expected it she was from VJC after all. We're all known for our "BITCH PLS" faces) Usually I don't give a shit because I'm out of her room in less than 30 seconds (I timed. She makes an average of 25 bucks for that 30 seconds. BITCH), but today I was you know, actually sick so I had to stay in there for a longer time.

AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW. Apparently the only reason why I was throwing up bile like a complete loser for an entire hour in the office toilet and then writhing in pain because whichever gland that produces gastric juices was going into overdrive is because I am anorexic.


HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

"You're on a diet is it. Never eat is it. Why are you so skinny. WHY HUH (yes why huh wtf's wrong with you) Are you anorexic. How much do YOU WEIGH"

Me (are you fucking out of your mind you blind bitch): "XX kg"

Her: "...oh okay"


BITCH PLEASE.

Labels: random rants

This might honestly, be the best article I've read to date.

http://www.autostraddle.com/why-taylor-swift-offends-little-monsters-feminists-and-weirdos-31525/


In case you haven't heard, the nauseatingly bland Taylor Swift won the the Grammy for Album of the Year at last week's Grammys, beating out people like Beyonce and Gaga. No seriously, it's not as if it's enough that The Powers To Be reward her absolute joke of a video at the VMAs (Kanye you were so right), they had to give her the award, normally reserved for people who actually had talent and could sing, to her, INSTEAD OF TO THE FAME MONSTER. 


I know nobody except for me has the patience to read an article explaining exactly why Taylor Swift is the most annoying bitch in the music industry right now, so let me highlight some of a few choice quotes (I may end up quoting the whole damn thing, but whatever)



"I’ve already shared some of my qualms with you: that I feel her win represents a sinister endorsement of mediocrity/Wonderbread, that it means Digestible beat Daring and I prefer daring, that I’m irked by her consistent inability to recognize more deserving nominees in her acceptance speeches, and that her entitlement to a blatantly untrue ‘fairy tale’ narrative tastes disingenuous and cheap.""


"The rush to exalt Swift is (I believe) a desperate attempt to infuse our allegedly apocalypse-bound country with a palatable conservative ideology in the form of a complacent, repressed feminine ideal. It’s working ’cause Swift writes good songs and America is terrified that its children have been scarred by Britney Spears’s psychotic vagina and Miley Cyrus’s obnoxious adolescence.

Rather than choosing an established/evolved talent (Beyoncé) or a revolutionary (Lady Gaga), the Grammys chose someone who, according to her lyrics, has spent her entire life waiting for phone calls and dreaming about horses and sunsets."


"Listen up; if I ever get my life together enough to reproduce other life forms, they will not be joining Taylor Nation – they will be brave, creative, inventive, envelope-pushing little monsters who will find a pretty, skinny white blonde girl in a white peasant shirt strolling through nature-themed screensaver-esque fantasylands singing about how “when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you’re gonna believe them” not only sappy, but also insulting to their inevitable brilliance.

I don’t want my unborn grandchildren to listen to the story of how Taylor Swift won a Grammy she hadn’t earned. I want them to set pianos on fire."



"Why does Swift seem, at 20, a decade younger than Lady Gaga? ‘Cause Swift’s package is “Purity Sue Ingenue”: eternally childlike, obedient and one-dimensional. Mothers love this package, and teenage girls are hypnotized by her simple songs & pretty hair & propensity for crying on her instruments.

Listen up! When Beyoncè was Swift’s age, she was onstage with Destiny’s Child, proclaiming: “The house I live in / I’ve bought it / The car I’m driving / I’ve bought it / All the women who are independent / Throw your hands up at me!”"



"Never was this bunnyrabbitchild persona more exploited than it was after the VMAs. If Kanye had snatched that mike from Lady Gaga, she would’ve snatched it right back, called Kanye an asshole (he is), admitted he was right (he was), and the whole thing would’ve been done and DONE. She certainly wouldn’t have needed — or wanted- the entire country’s fawning faux-sympathy for months afterward.

Taylor had another chance at the VMA’s end to prove her maturity by thanking and honoring Beyoncé for calling her back up to speak. But no, she was just like, “A’ight my turn!”

Role models aren’t suspended children, trapped by projections and unable to grow until affirmed by an idealized male partner. Role models grow and change and challenge themselves and are rewarded for exceptionalism, not potential. Independently."



"Swift’s songwriting is as thematically ambitious as a 15-year-old’s LiveJournal, which is to say, like a 15-year-old’s LiveJournal, it never strives for thematic weight or challenges ideas not already covered by Sweet Valley High or The Children’s Illustrated Bible.

If Swift’s work connects with teenage girls, it does so on the most simplistic, reductive territory of all: pining for boys, walking in the rain, kissing in the rain, crying drops of tears on her guitar, driving in trucks with cool boys, wanting boys she can’t have, more rain, more letter-writing, more stalking, more broken hearts, breathing problems as a side-effect of broken hearts, fairytale princess this, white horse that, more pining at the window, more psuedo-stalking, more incomplete hearts yearning for your touch, and one song that misinterprets Shakespeare and The Scarlet Letter so criminally I’m certain she’s never read either.

Swift simply hasn’t had the life experience and doesn’t inherently possess the emotional maturity to create great art. Which is fine — most young pop stars don’t, which is why they don’t win Grammys.

We’ve decided to break this down for you with a special Autostraddle infographic:


"Perhaps the only legitimately irritating aspect of Taylor the Human is her continually presenting the experience of being teased in middle school for liking country music as a legit tragic impetus. Taylor Fucking Swift! Put on a Rachel Berry smile and get yer sh*t together, we were all bullied in middle school!

Even when Swift’s songs cast her as the outcast, the freakiest she can get is putting on a pair of glasses and a t-shirt which has apparently been signed by all of her non-existent friends.

Taylor, look at Lady Gaga in that bathtub and tell me that you’re the one in the bleachers:


And I'm just going to quote the entire next paragraph because of its sheer brilliance


Furthermore, Swift’s lyrical message to teenage girls is clear: BOYS. That’s it. Just boys. Crying over boys and feeling broken and/or completed by boys.

In fact, Swift loves boys at the exclusion of just about everything else, including other girls. Other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability. Unfortunately for these mute yet effortlessly hunky jungle-eyed boys, by choosing the “beautiful” girls over Taylor (who is, suspiciously… also beautiful…), they’re missing out on Taylor’s unique understanding of their heart/inner fireball/angelic rainshower/sweet glory of Jesus. “All those other girls are beautiful,” Taylor pines, “But would they write a song for you?”

This is perhaps her music’s most grating sin: the sex-shaming girl-bashing passed off as outsider insecurity. Boys are angels lit from within with cool hair, fast cars, and eyes that often resemble light sources (stars, sunbeams, etc). These boys never grow beyond metaphor into humanity. If they did, we might have to confront the very idea that Taylor Swift’s entire career is designed to destroy: that teenagers want to have sex. And that wanting is confusing.


Certainly, she’s among a handful of teenage pop stars who truly practices what she preaches. Taylor’s behavior & imagery is just as wholesome as the apple pie her fans dream of baking for their own Jonas Brother-esque boyfriend. She doesn’t peddle paradoxical mixed messages about sex like the previous generation of teenaged pop stars.

I mean, she’s pretty clear in “Fifteen” — really the only song where Taylor has an actual female friend — that “Abigail gave everything she had to a boy, who changed his mind, and we both cried.”

I’ll spare you the time of listening to the song and give it to you straight: Abigail had sex with a boy, and later they broke up. That’s right. No marriage. She gave him all she had.

That’s right. All Abigail had was her hymen.




Songs like “Fifteen” dig up the ancient Puritan ideal that girls can only access power by confidently and heterosexually denying access to their pants.

But there’s power in owning desire too, and even more power in owning that responsibly (especially when you’re young). At her age, my friends and I were having safe sex, listening to Ani DiFranco & Destiny’s Child & Lauryn Hill & The Magnetic Fields & George Michael and um *cough* Britney Spears and so far it seems none of us lost “all we had.”

See, teenagers do think about sex and that’s part of what makes adolescence so fucking wretched but also hopelessly authentic. Revisiting that paradox as an adult can make great art. It’s not about slut shaming, exalting resistance, extending childhood or demonizing desire — it’s about powerfully wanting things that are REAL.

[ETA: I'm not saying all teenagers should have sex, or that being sexually active is better for kids than abstinence. That's ridiculous. I'm just saying the wanting is real. Acting on the wanting is a whole different story -- but Taylor is promoting denial of both, whereas I suggest if there is any denial at all, it should be in your actions, not in your desires.]

And I think that mature female-empowered desire has never been so present in pop music as it is right now, and many of those women were there on Sunday. [Sidenote: I could write a whole new essay about what Adam Lambert is bringing to the table right now for male sexuality, but I already have/this is already too long.]

The ironic thing is, I think pop music is past the stuff Taylor Swift is a reaction to. We’re not really being subjected to the hypocritical virgin/madonna antics of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, Mandy Moore, and their ilk peddling Lolita-Sex for sex’s sake but disguised in pastels.

Instead, awards shows this year featured gifted, evolving performers like Pink, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé, Rihanna and Janet Jackson; women who are more than hymens or fairy tales. Women for whom sex isn’t something you just throw into the crowd like candy — it’s something strong and eternal and tenacious and really quite inspiring.

Let’s bring it back around to the lady that obvs should’ve won: Lady Fucking Gaga. Lady Gaga is viscous hungry sex in hellfire. She’s more theatrical than Broadway and every night she sings in romantic open fists. Lady Gaga opens her dress, extracts her gut, assembles it in shapes splashed in sinister glitter and then shatters her dangerous violent diamonds onto the piano and screams FIRE and it sounds like bad romance. She wants your ugly, she wants your disease, and she’s everything Taylor Swift will never be. Punks don’t win awards, they eat awards.

And so that’s what I hope for my hypothetical unborn children, whether it’s from Gaga or another powerhouse female who owns it on stage: pop music that shuns tired Dawson Leary cliché in favor of your drama, disease, love, revenge, and (when you’re ready) your dangerous ambisexual kiss in the motherfucking sand.

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah,

Roma-roma-mah,

GaGa-ooh-la-la.



A-FUCKING-MEN.

You guys know my hatred for all things bland in music, key people being Taylor Swift and Kris Allen (and might I just add, a terribly appropriate comparision. Taylor Swift winning the Grammy over Lady Gaga. Kris-ifhegetsanymoreboringImightkillmyself-Allen winning over Adam Lambert on American Idol. Need I say more?).

But yes, it goes beyond just bad music. I'm legitimately terrified of what seems to be a growing trend in the US music industry. The NEVERENDING influx of Christian rock bands, generic singer songwriters, cookie-mold pretty girls with their guitars etc etc I could go on forever.

These people not only look the same, they sound the same. It's the same genre of song, same beat, same hook, same lyrics, same mediocre singer. And as liberal as America may seem, it remains one of the most notoriously close-minded and difficult music markets to break into. Yes, that America=World mindset that many stupid Americans seem to have applies here as well. Bet you didn't know that Lady Gaga actually made it big in Europe and Asia before breaking into the US market! That took only, oh, two years. Muse never really managed to break into the US market even though they were huge in UK for years. Taylor-FUCKING-Swift won 4 Grammys in the span of one year. If there's some logic in the past few sentences, somebody please point it out. 

There is almost a deliberate refusal to acknowledge the presence of anything different, flamboyant, and out of the box in the music industry. The American public, together with The Powers To Be in the music industry, seem to be terrified of anyone that just won't fit into the boxes they've created for their ideal artiste. The "All American" artiste.

That is why people like Taylor Swift and Kris Allen win things. Not because they're truly talented, but because they embody the true, good ol' American traditional values. They are safe, conventional, and un-threatening, and they're rewarded for being all that. Never mind talent, reward the ones who embody the true American spirit!Most ironically, this is also why people like Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert are vastly more popular. For every god-fearing, The Fray-worshipping puritan, there's ten more who see past the holier-than-thou facades for what these so-called musicians really are - subpar singers who are nothing but product of an industry fearful of rewarding the brave and the different. This is why The Fame Monster has sold over 8 million copies around the world, compared Fearless' 4 million (yes I googled that shit. My brain feels violated). That is also why For Your Entertainment has gone gold in the US, Canada and several other countries I don't know I can't keep track (haha) while Kris Allen (yes, that's the title of his album. GOT MORE FUCKING BORING NOT I ASK YOU) so far, in 3 months, has sold the same number of copies as what FYE sold in its opening three weeks. LOL sorry, I can't make this sort of thing up.

A sign of an evolving music industry perhaps? I don't know for sure. But with Lady Gaga paving the way, and her and Adam smashing expectations and gender boundaries left right and centre, I am hopeful for greater, and weirder things to come. CAMP IT UP, MY DAHLINGS. 

I don't need stupid songs bemoaning about cheerleaders wearing short skirts while you wear t-shirts, bitch. I'd much rather have my singer telling me that he's the master of pain and pleasure and that he's going to entertain me till I scream, thank you very much. LONG LIVE THE TALENTED AND THE WEIRD. 

sorry that came out way longer than expected. Months of pent up rage, I tell ya.  

Labels: adam lambert is a god... uh i mean what?, random rants

And this week in your all new segment of

WTF JUST HAPPENED THERE?!/WTF WERE YOU THINKING?!

Apparently somebody (who should be fired right this instance) thought that it'd be a brilliant idea for the Top 3 of Singapore Idol to perform For Your Entertainment at this week's results show.

Yeah you saw that right.

For-Your-Entertainment
For-Fucking-Your-Entertainment

Now, let's just ignore for one second the fact that this is an Adam Lambert song (which by the way, should have IMMEDIATELY given ANY singer, Singapore Idol losers or not, the reaction to turn and run screaming in the other direction because, well, HELLO?), have you people actually listened to this song? Okay, so at which part of the song did you think, "hey, this song sounds easy, I think the Idol kids can actually sing this!"?

Because if not, I'm going to go ahead and assume that the music directors of the show actually wanted what went down as the BIGGEST FAIL IN THE HISTORY OF SINGAPORE IDOL (and that's saying a lot given Duane's presence this season) to happen. Horrifying doesn't even begin to cut it. It caused me irreparable aural damage and I want to sue Mediacorp for emotional trauma. 

To whichever moron who picked this song: Yeah I know Adam is fabulous and all, but there's a reason why people treat him like a god and people from Singapore Idol are never going to make it in the music industry. IF THIS IS A SONG THAT NOT EVEN ADAM LAMBERT HIMSELF CAN PERFORM LIVE WELL (it's true, unfortunately. but eh, the gods have off days too yada yada) then either you make the contestants lipsync OR YOU CHOOSE SOMETHING THAT SUBSTANDARD SINGERS CAN SING, SAY, SOMETHING BY KRIS ALLEN. (oh wait, then again, that'd make me physically ill too. I'd rather not)

And to the contestants (okay just the Sezairi): dude. what happened? You've either not improved since the last time we actually liked you, or you're actually not that great to begin with, but you seemed awesome last time because of even worse singers like the two other Malay boys whose names I can't remember now. And I can forgive the absolute JOKE of a performance of Play That Funky Music (where you actually had the cahonies to say that it was the Adam Lambert version), but yesterday was just the last straw. Please tell me somebody set you up to sing those runs in FYE, because if not... Worst of all, you're beginning to reeeeally remind me of that boring wanker who won American Idol whilst trying to sing like Adam Lambert, and that pisses me off to no end. 

And yes one last point: YOU PEOPLE DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE SONG. IT'S JUST FUCKING INSULTING TO THE ESSENCE OF THE SONG OKAY?

I feel terribly sorry for myself that I put myself through that performance three times (it was like a train wreck. YOU. JUST. CANNOT. LOOK. AWAY) and I feel even sorrier that we still don't have Youtube evidence. But seriously, watch the rerun on Saturday. YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED. 

HAHA so evidently the performance made me and lyd fully appreciate the meaning of dumbfounded, horror, shock and disgust. Good times.

Okay the next time I go out I'm going to take pictures. My blog is boring even myself.

Labels: adam lambert is a god... uh i mean what?, pointless post is pointless, random rants, singapore idol makes me laugh

OMG SO FUNNY OMG HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA.

Although, it's pretty terrifying at the same time. OMG a world with Sarah Palin as President and Glenn FUCKINGHOMOPHOBICDOUCHEBAGCRYBABY Beck as Vice-President? I may actually kill myself if that ever happens.

Although, it is possible that the world will actually end if this happens. The amount of stupid may cause the entire planet to implode.

Labels: pointless post is pointless, random rants

I have to talk about this. Never have I ever been legitimately pissed off at a movie I just watched. I was actually annoyed enough to want to throw something at the movie screen at the end of it, I kid you not.

IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY TO WASTE AND YOU WANT TO FUND SOME KOREAN BITCHES' PLASTIC SURGERY, THEN BY ALL MEANS GO WATCH HAEUNDAE: THE DEADLY TSUNAMI.


People who know me know that I loathe Korean shows with a passion. I abhor the fact that the plots are always the same old tired boring unimaginative oh-i-have-a-terminal-disease sob story. I hate the fact that the actors and actresses seem to have a penchant for yelling/screaming/screeching at each other (which never, ever fails to make my hair stand and want to throw something at the general direction of their voices). Most of all, I cannot stand the fact that people seem to think that Korean actors/actresses have great acting skills when in reality all they do is overemote and scream and throw things.

So, the only time I would voluntarily subject myself to a Korean show is when it involves thousands of Koreans being swept away by some massive disaster, I don't care even care what. And that was how leed, william and I ended up watching Haeundae: The Deadly Tsunami (read: SHITTIEST disaster movie ever created in the history of shitty disaster movies)

You know, if you have no budget for even crappy CGI effects, then for fuck's sake, don't even try to masquerade as some big budget film with a "touching" storyline. Just do what Sinking of Japan did - have a crappy plot in addition to your crappy effects - because at the end of the movie I would be laughing too hard to care. But noooooo, you had to attempt to weave a dramatic plot about love in the midst of a disaster flick.

Normally it would have worked, but you had to try to up your own game by squeezing THREE STUPID AND NONSENSICAL love stories into the movie, all in the span of one hour. Resulting effect? The stories were not the least bit touching, and instead cringe-worthy, laughable, boring, unconvincing, the actors fucking annoying and ugly (save for one guy but he's annoying too).

For one whole hour, the three of us were yawning and lamenting the lack of death and abundance of the pseudo love stories that the movie insisted on force-feeding everyone. And then when the effects finally came, the CGI was so horrifyingly bad the three of us WHAT THE FUCK-ED at the same moment. We were probably screeching with despaired laughter at the same time as well, because that's when we realised we spent 10 bucks on possibly something we could have watched online (and still felt pissed about wasting time on). And seriously, when your tsunami looks like a mild flood, and you can tell the actors are actually standing in shoulder-deep water, you know you've got a problem - YOU SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE NOT MADE THIS MOVIE IN THE FIRST PLACE.


okay i'm done pissing all over the movie. I am now eagerly awaiting 2012 more than ever because as shitty as the plot may be, as cheesy as the CGI effects may be, at least I know it'd still be a trillion times better than this epic shitfest that was Haeundae. URGH. oh and there's Time for Miracles but that's totally besides the point.

Labels: random rants

Proof why some Singaporeans shouldn't be allowed to reproduce (Miss Ris Low is example numero uno. Here's number two:)

A letter published in this week's 8 days (YES AGAIN)
"Your Singapore Idol issue brought a big smile to my face. I'm glad you gave the new batch of nubile young things their time in the spotlight. Who cares about Kris "Boring" Allen or Adam "Is he Gay?" Lambert when we have Sylvia, Tabitha, Nurul and Mae? The girls are cute, talented and hot, and we want to see more of them!"

First of all: OH MY FUCKING LORD, YOU DID NOT JUST COMPARE THESE BUNCH OF SUBSTANDARD WANNABE SINGERS TO CONTESTANTS FROM AMERICAN IDOL. You fucking cheekopek (Yeah obviously it's written by a guy. WHICH GIRL WOULD USE "NUBILE" TO DESCRIBE OTHER GIRLS?)I know you're probably using your other head to think while writing this letter but can you FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, STOP AND PAUSE JUST FOR ONE SECOND TO THINK IF ANYTHING YOU'VE JUST TYPED EVEN MADE THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF SENSE? YOU ACTUALLY DARE TO COMPARE SINGAPORE IDOL TO AMERICAN IDOL. LET ME KILL MYSELF IF I FIND OUT YOU HAVE OFFSPRING.

(Okay, I'll give you the "Kris Allen is boring" part but the rest of it is just NONONOFUCKNONO. And no matter how boring Kris Allen is, he has more talent in his pinky than all the top 13 contestants on Singapore Idol combined)


LET ME PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE FOR YOU.


RUNNER UP ON SINGAPORE IDOL


RUNNER UP ON AMERICAN IDOL



SIAO AH. OF COURSE I'M NOT GOING TO COMPARE SINGING CAPABILITIES. WHAT'S THE POINT?

(and also i was looking for an excuse to post the 2nd picture)

Labels: random rants, singapore idol makes me laugh

My brain.. it has.. combusted.



If you haven't seen this, you really need to watch it RIGHT NOW. This has got to be one of the most hilarious and cringeworthy videos to EVER exist, and I was so busy alternating between screaming with laughter and facepalming so hard that I nearly sprained something.

Oh you know I LOVE to rip people like these to pieces. Giving me material like this is akin to waving a slab of lamb in front of a wolf. (okay awkward analogy but you know what I mean)

Okay you know what, I'm not even going to go into one of my rants about the failure of Singapore education and berate the humiliating English standards of Singaporeans as a whole. I just have a number of legitimate questions:


1. How the fuck did she win
2. How atrocious were the other contestants that THIS ONE had to win? Sorry to say, I'd have preferred somebody who was mute to win, any day.
3. HER ENGLISH TEACHERS. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?
4. Most, if not all, of my friends were brought up in Mandarin speaking environments. Not all of us spoke English regularly, and certainly some do not even like the English language. BUT NONE OF US SPEAK ENGLISH LIKE WE WERE STILL IN PRIMARY SCHOOL AND STILL LEARNING HOW TO PRONOUNCE WORDS. Seriously, what the hell happened there.

which brings me to:

5. Is there something wrong with her?

I'm not even trying to be snarky here, because I honestly think there's something wrong with her when (1) she apparently knew all the questions beforehand and still (2) took 34.8 seconds to tell the world what she's majoring in (Oh but then again people major in three different things lah, my bad. HORSE PEE TELLY TEE. HEEHEEHEE). I'm not even going to bitch about her ear-stabbing-inducing enunciation of words, because seriously my mind self-destructed the moment she opened her mouth to speak.


Girl. Stop speaking words, forever.

Labels: idiocy seems to be a common occurence, random rants

You know I'm not in the right state of mind when I'm replaying "Heartless" over and over again and wailing along to it. HOW COULD YOU BE SO HEARTLESS OOOOOOH HOW COULD YOU BE SO HEARTLESS. nice song, really.

Anyway I digress. What I was going to say that because I'm in a really shitty mood now, I'm just going to go right ahead and type all these.


I really really hate it when people, who lead such perfect and easy lives, create drama for themselves because oh heaven forbid that they lead such charmed lives; oh noooo life is so harsh on me, look at all these things happening to me, why on earth am I always the victim? oh look im at the centre of the universe, let me bitch and moan about all my problems to everyone in the vicinity and not care whether they give a shit or not because goddamnit i'm the centre of the universe how do they not understand it? everything gravitates towards ME ME ME, so my problems are everyone else's too.


Now if these things are actually happening, I'm not the kind of person who doesn't care. But when all these so-called problems are half the time imaginary, half the time self-created then I REALLY DON'T GIVE A CRAP. For cryin' out loud, try taking a walk in the shoes of other people before you whine endlessly about insignificant little problems.

Sorry, but your free pass to my patience and tolerance and listening ear has officially been terminated a looooooong time ago. Until you truly learn the meaning of empathy, don't burden me with stupid matters that are all just a figment of your imagination.



Thank you for reading this chunk of bitching. For your time (because I'm actually appreciative when people take time out to listen to my problems), have a funny picture.

Labels: random rants

Further proof why 8 days will forever be my favourite magazine:

On their list of annoying things featured this week:

12. Celeb Blogger Perez Hilton
Oh yes THANK YOU. Really, why is somebody that untalented and ugly even famous? He spends half his time slagging off celebrities and spreading vicious (and may i add, false) rumours, and the other half kissing Lady Gaga's ass. (that's enough reason to hate him in my opinion)

You will not believe how much I laughed the day will.i.am sucker-punched him in the face (after he called will.i.am a fag. No I don't know what was going through his tiny mind when he used that homophobic slur especially when he himself is gay. I do not try to comprehend stupidity)

Now 8 days, if only you would add a certain local blogger to your list, I will give you my firstborn.


20. Nosey relatives who bug you about when you're getting attached/married/pregnant/a better job - do we ask when you're hitting menopause?

ON SNAP! Thank god none of my relatives do things like that to me, so this is for the rest of you who have unfortunate relatives like these.


27. Decisive friends who pretend to be indecisive - They ask you to choose the restaurant, then reject all your suggestions

HAHAHA. Now who does this remind me of..



30. Cantonese dramas dubbed in Mandarin - The reason why the brilliant Heart of Greed is a dud on Channel 8

YES. I know you're trying to promote speaking proper Mandarin, but honestly? Dubbing just takes away the essence of the whole show. Some jokes just don't translate and it's so jarring to hear the chinese translation and know it means entirely something else. At least give the option of dual-language. I'm more than okay with the people doing the dubbing for HK shows (because have you heard the local dubbers? HORRORS OF HORROR) but nothing beats the original voices.



34. Salesgirls who shadow you. Then rearrange the stuff you touched the moment you walk away

I really don't need to explain why this is so freaking annoying.



37. People who hold up queues at the train turnstile cos they insist the scanner can detect the ez links in the abyss of their giant bags

This always happens to me and when it does, I roll my eyes. There was once the woman in front turned around and saw me rolling my eyes. Normally I would be embarrassed, but it was a tiong so I rolled my eyes more.



And the cherry on top of the icing? They slammed Gurmit Singh's joke of a hosting job on Singapore Idol last week. How awesome is this?? First of all, Dick Lee basically bit the heads off of all the contestants I couldn't stand (and telling one guy who was playing the guitar that this was a singing competition, not a music competition. MR LEE I BOW DOWN TO YOUR WISE WORDS AND LAMENT WHY YOU COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ON AMERICAN IDOL) and now 8 days calls Gurmit out for his lameass jokes and nonsensical rambling??

Wow if this kind of epicness continues, I am so going to continue watching the show.



And yes I realise I've totally given up on blogging about Europe. I just can't be bothered, which is unfortunate because I'm missing out on my favourite places Paris and London. AH WELL. PICTURES.

BERN

boring

LAUSANNE

pretty but boring

GENEVA

expensive, pretty and boring.

(Yeah not really fans of these places)

PARIS

One of my favourite places in the world. Paris is honestly one of the only few cities that can live up to its hype. It's gorgeous, romantic, everything they say in the books, and more. And the city was just so darn PRETTY.

And the fantastic weather was just a bonus. (Although it did get a little too cold on the third day and we were all getting grumpy from freezing too much) Oh and Parisian guys are hot. No competition.

LONDON

Now if there's one place I could love more than Paris, it was London. The place redefines the word "charming". I guess it suits me perfectly because it straddles between the old-world English charm and modernized chic well. And the shopping? O M G. I spent the bulk of my savings in London, and went home with tons of clothes, books and makeup. I WANT TO MOVE TO LONDON DAMNIT.

OH YEAH. Guys with British accents? DO WANT. After almost 3 weeks in countries where I have no idea what the hell people were saying, I practically swooned when I first heard those damn lovely English accents.

dinner with eric and friends

EDINBURGH

Compared to Paris and London, Edinburgh definitely had a slower pace of life. It also had more of the European old world charm - the buildings in the city were mainly constructed out of stone and brick. VERY PRETTY. I don't know why but the place just resounded with me. I loved it (Also maybe because I have a thing for Scottish accents and I'm biased)

One thing's for sure though, Edinburgh has got some of the most gorgeous scenery - the sky's the shade of the most brilliant blue you could possibly imagine. It's AMAZING.


Okay that's all. And the whole blogging about Europe thing only took.. 4 months!

Labels: MS, random rants, travel log

BWAHAHAHHAHAHHA OMG I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING. HAHAHAHAHHAA.


I think I have a serious elitist attitude towards certain things sometimes. Okay I'm honestly not going to say it here, but you all would know what's my biggest pet peeve of all. This certain thing that I just saw had to combine my pet peeve + one of my most favourite people in the whole wide world. I would be annoyed if it wasn't so incredibly bad and hilarious. I laughed. I showed it to William. I cursed a little. I lamented the lack of intelligence. And then I laughed some more. And now, fifteen minutes later the hilarity has died down and I'm just cringing with embarrasement for that person. Maybe I'll go back to laughing later when I see it a second time.


Oh good times.

Labels: idiocy seems to be a common occurence, random rants

Okay serious question now people.

Is it just me or is the whole world suddenly getting.. *gasp* engaged?!

I don't get it. I really don't. When I heard about the first person I know getting engaged, I was all "OMG WHAT" and subsequently went "okay cool congrats!", and dismissed it as an isolated and rare case. Now, five more examples later, i really need to ask: IS THIS A NEW TREND I'M NOT AWARE OF? WHAT IS GOING ON? Is this like the new bubble tea trend, but instead of a bubble tea stand, these people are queueing at the ROM??

I get it (well not really. BECAUSE YOU ARE 22. NOT 32.) if these couples have been together for any amount of time above 3 years. But if you've only been with that dude for slightly over ONE YEAR (AND YOU ARE 22. OMG 22. TWENTY TWO) and you're agreeing to marry him.. I don't know I don't know. Maybe I just have really biased opinions in this, but aren't you a little too young to have that kind of responsibility? It's not just the problem of financial capabilities, but also the notion of being tied down forever NOW.


Alright alright maybe it's just me. I like being childish and carefree and FREE, so while this piece of news may throw some people into some sort of panic attack about not being attached/engaged at 22, I'm just really amused right now. *shrugs*



FREEDOM IS MINE AND YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL IT'S A NEW DAWN IT'S NEW DAY IT'S A NEW LIFEEEE FOR MEEEEEEE (not quite relevant save for the first line but the song came up on shuffle)

Labels: random rants

Oh hey look it's another bitching post on Singapore Idol! SURPRISE SURPRISE. I don't have a life, what else can I bitch about? Let me create drama when there's none alright?




Okay, this is why I'd probably NOT be watching the show anymore:

It's not that the singers are terrible beyond belief (well, not all of them anyway). I have to admit that many of the girls are actually quite good. Exceeding my expectations in fact! (Not that I had high expectations in the first place, but they were good enough to not warrant a facepalm reaction when I hear them sing. That's saying alot) Although after awhile I couldn't tell one Alicia Keys soundalike to another, I still have to give them props for being the best batch of female contestants so far.

So why would I not be watching this show in the future? Well mainly because I CANNOT COMPREHEND HOW TERRIBLE the male contestants are. I'm obviously watching the show only for the dudes, so I don't really give a damn how good the girls are. And oh boy, do the guys suck. They come in a variety of fat, ugly, bitchy, annoying, boring, combinations of previously mentioned adjectives or all of the above, but most importantly, none of them can sing. It's not just that they were vocally unimpressive. THERE WERE NO VOCALS TO SPEAK OF. I'm not even trying to be bitchy here. I honestly cannot believe how untalented some of the top24 guys are.

OHOH. AND PLAID. OH GOD. STOP. WEARING. THE. FUCKING. PLAID. some dude was wearing PLAID and PLAYING WITH A GUITAR and I've never wanted to kick somebody through the television more. GET A STYLIST FOR GODS' SAKE.


I'll probably watch the show a couple weeks more though, to be honest, despite the fact that I actually feel physically ill watching it. Like my eyes and ears have been violated. But well, can't complain about having something to rant and be dramatic about! I'll just have to control the urge to go running for the computer for some AI to cleanse my soul until the end of the show.


OH HOWEVER. I WILL STOP WATCHING THE SHOW IF THEY PLAY KRIS ALLEN'S NO BOUNDARIES ONE MORE TIME. I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING. Learn some good taste from 8 days won't you, Singapore Idol?



(hahah it's so fun to freak out over something insignificant. my life is so completely unexciting that i get a kick out of freaking out over anything. i need to channel my negative energy somewhere you know? if not i'd probably be the most horrible person on earth)


anyway pictures so this post is not completely pointless

I MISS US :(

yes that's right. I'm at Minds Cafe. HAHA MINDFUCK eh? I had fun though :)

and have yourself a funny picture





back to doing nothing.

Labels: idiocy seems to be a common occurence, random rants, singapore idol makes me laugh

FOX NEWS - PERPETUATING REPUBLICAN STUPIDITY AND DELUSION SINCE FUCK KNOWS WHEN. HYPOCRISY AND LAUGHABLE JOURNALISM COMES AT A BONUS!

Oh shut up already. The Democrats have won. Get over it. Your butthurt is showing, and you're just coming across as whiny kids who have been told that they won't be getting candy for the next 4 years.


And these three. Gosh, where do I even start. This three people are legitimately the only three people on this earth I would truly wish painful deaths on. DO YOU PEOPLE HONESTLY BELIEVE THE THINGS YOU SPEW, (hence rendering you, and your argument completely invalid since you're probably retarded), or you're just trying to rile people up with the shit you say?

Glenn Beck: "Obama is a racist! wah wah wah" Ohhhhh so sorry you feel that way, you fat oppressed white boy.







.. Okay I need to take a break from watching The Daily Show.

Labels: random rants

Oh yes, I was supposed to bitch about Singapore Idol.

Honestly, I think I should watch every single episode of SI with lydia from now onwards. I had so much fun just now with her bitching about EVERY. SINGLE. THING. HAHA. In fact, I think most of the time we were just going, "NOOOOOOOOOO!!", "what's wrong with you OMG?!", "OMG SHUT UP YOU CAN'T SING" and "NOOOO NOT THE FAT GUY!".

Well what can I say about the show that hasn't already been said? The audition round was a riot as usual: mediocre singers + severely delusional individuals who need their hearing checked. I liked the deluded people, not gonna lie. They entertain me and make me laugh, so that's all good. (Although the Careless Whisper guy seriously needs to get psychiatric help soon. You're funny the first time. You're annoying the third time. And you seem to truly adore the attention. You're 30. That's not right.)

Mediocre singers - not so much. Most of them come across as having an overinflated sense of self-importance that probably stems not from the fact that they can sing mediocrely well, but because of the judges' fawning over them like they're the second Messiah. Hello, context much? And to date, I've only seen ONE GIRL that has that tiny bit of charisma that most of the other contestants seem to be lacking in huge doses.

Honestly, watching the show, it seemed like I was watching some joint-school-organized talentime. Not only was the singing *meh*, the dressing was another huge problem. If you are all going to be dressing like ah lians, then I WILL think of you as ah lians, and that will negate whatever singing talent you have. I don't know. All of them just look like little boys and girls to me and that means I will never be able to take them seriously. Maybe I've been spoilt silly, but to me, I will only pay attention to a singer if he/she can not only sing, but also comes in a pretty package of good looks, charisma and on-stage persona.

Which means, I absolutely cannot stand the boy-next-door look that some of these contestants are going for. If I wanted a boy-next-door as an idol, I would actually go look next door. I don't care if you can sing, because I have only so much patience for you doing the same thing over and over again. I don't even care if you can play the piano/violin/guitar/xylophone/shakuhachi/whatever. Sorry, but I really don't get why people make a big deal out of artistes who can play their own instruments. Anyone can learn the damn instruments. Not everyone is born with the voice or the charisma.




... Okay wait I think I'm not actually still talking about Singapore Idol. HAHA.


So anyway my point is this: on-stage persona > singing capabilities any day. Sad but true. As much as I hate to bring them up, just look at KISS.


Can they sing? No. But they've been around for ages and they're still playing at sellout concerts. Why? BECAUSE THEY CAN PUT ON A DAMN SHOW. They have the visuals, the effects, the excitement, the drama, and that's what I'd pay good money for. If I want to see somebody play the piano and sing I would go to a hotel lounge.
(That aside, Gene Simmons is a homophobic fucktard who needs to go and die in a fire)

And of course there's Christina, possibly the only female singer I ever liked.

Girl can sing AND put on a good show.


Okay I think I may actually have forgot the point of this post.



Yes Singapore Idol! Okay seriously what else can I say? In all seriousness, I do not understand the point of this whole competition. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: there is no market for Asians singing english songs. Never did, never will. When locals don't even support local acts, what's the point? Lady Gaga came and 10,000 screaming idiots people went to squeeze at Fort Canning for her. How many people went for an Electrico concert Is there even an Electrico concert?

Alright I've run out of steam. Have yourself a pretty picture and good night.

LEARN FROM THIS, BITCHES!


(no on 2nd thought. please don't)

Labels: adam lambert is a god... uh i mean what?, random rants, singapore idol makes me laugh

A serious entry for once.


Okay. If you know me well, you'd know that I'm one of the most apathetic people around to many issues, and of course I would mean that in a good way you ass. I don't really have an opinion on many things that people like to argue about. I don't care about the environment. I don't care about Singapore politics (what's there to argue about? there won't be any change no matter how much noise you make, so why not just shut up and sit down and just accept it). I don't have a stand on our education system/teenagers having premartial sex/WHATEVER. In fact, sometimes I'm apathetic even to people who like to ask inappropriate questions/ask for advice and then proceed to ignore it. Look, if you asked for my advice, the least I'd expect from you is to NOT turn around and proceed to do the exact opposite. If you do that, well, then expect me to be completely indifferent to whatever you have to say/ask in the future. As for people who like to ask inappropriate questions: wait for me to bitch about you. (yes I'm noting the irony here)

In short, you can say that this trait makes me a fairly easy-going person, because I don't get into arguments with people much, since well, I basically don't care about anything unless it interests me directly. (You can also call me a selfish bitch, whatever. I choose to focus on the good) So when I actually get riled up about something/have a strong opinion, you know it's time to shut your mouth before I bitchslap your ass.


First things first. (heh dee, you started this with our conversation yesterday :P) I've had it UP TO THERE with people who like to ask me, EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME we meet, whether I'm attached or not. If you're sincerely concerned, cool, I'm not, so why don't you introduce some cute guys to me. But if you're just doing so to annoy me, then really, NOT COOL. And what I can't stand more than that? It's the way these people go all, "huh! why not? you're getting old you know! It's even harder for girls to get attached when they start working! Aiyo how?", because, maybe I'm over-analyzing this, it reeks of smugness and fake concern. And most of all, IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS.

Let me give you an opinion I actually have on this issue: I do not care whether I'm attached or not. In fact, I LOVE how drama-free my life has been the past couple of years. I do not need all those rubbish in my life again. Am I nobody unless I'm with somebody? Why do I need to be defined that way? Nobody can hold my interest long enough (haha. apathy in action) and I don't care if this is a low blow to that person who said this, but at least I've got attention. Really, you are the last person to be allowed to give snide comments of that sort to me. I'm sorry for your life if you feel the desperate need to get attached, but please don't impose that kind of whacked ideology on me, thank you very much.


And the next issue. This is actually something that's not directly related to me, yet I'm incredibly passionate about. Like I said, I'm very tolerant about many things, but if you're homophobic, you're definitely in my bad books. (that means I curse your ass silently every time I see you. Haha. only half joking) If you are homophobic, so be it, that's your sad life, don't let me hear any homophobic remarks and we're cool. BUT if you do, I will not hesitate to call you out on it. I know I've made my stand on this issue pretty clear, but recently a couple of remarks made by certain people have irked me so much I feel very obliged to bitch about this again.

For crying out loud, the next time I hear some guy complimenting another guy on his looks, and then proceed to give himself a disclaimer by saying, "oh by the way I'm not gay", I swear I will bitchslap that person so hard he won't have anything to disclaim in the future. Do I sound like I'm overreacting? Probably. But I will have you know that said person has made many more homophobic remarks in the past, and I just never mentioned it. Are we still so regressed that paying a simple compliment to a person of the same sex = having interest in that person? Okay, I get that you're not the sharpest tool in the shed, but do you HONESTLY believe that the other guy would think "oh ew, he probably likes me"? Sorry, but not everyone's stupid like you. And I feel the need to bring this up again: "NO NEED FOR A DISCLAIMER. NOBODY THINKS YOU'RE GAY. AND ANYWAY, NO GAY GUY WOULD LIKE YOU. THEY ACTUALLY HAVE STANDARDS YOU KNOW?

Gah. I could go on on this issue forever. But let's leave the serious analysis for some other PMS-y day and just have some bitchiness for now.

Labels: random rants, serious business

my horoscope this week

it's no use feeling sorry for yourself. look hard and you'll see that everything will be fine over the coming period, and that the problem lies with you and your refusal to break with past patterns in several important respects

not that i've ever been a believer of horoscopes. this is however, still nice to hear. yeah, i trust in the "i will believe whatever i want to believe and obliterate everything else" school of thought.

it's not fun being a gemini sometimes (i love how i just about blame every single character flaw i have on my star sign. superficial? typical geminian trait. lack of brain to mouth filter? it's in the stars) sometimes i'm all high with skyrocketing confidence and all that IMGONNAKICKYOURASS shit, but just as quickly as that goes, i can suddenly be engulfed with self-doubt and my self-esteem plummets when things i care about do not go the way i've planned. in that sense, i'm a perfectionist, almost sadistic to a fault. which is hilarious because in all other aspects of life, i'm probably the epitome of an anti-perfectionist. just great, i know. it drives me absolutely fucking insane.

okay i really do not want to dwell on this anymore. just want to huddle into my pillows and watch some garbage and face whatever crap that comes one day at a time.


and because i'm feeling all shitty, imma post funny gifs and pictures to cheer myself up. if you're feeling shitty too, you're welcome.



oh neil patrick harris i miss you on HIMYM so. START SHOWING THE NEXT SEASON ALREADY KTHANKS




i really should start watching The Office. steve carrell is freaking hilarious



HAHAH. the true embodiment of WHAT?



simon will never be not funny (and also, i predict this will be my reaction to most things when i watch Singapore Idol this coming sunday. im not gonna lie. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT SHIT. I SMELL EPIC-FAILURE-NESS and i'm just salivating at the thought of the major bitchfit i'm going to get into. OH PRIORITIES IN LIFE, I'VE GOT THEM)

obligatory gif is obligatory



SEAH. YOU APPROVE?


and one last picture to make your ovaries explode



good night. i'm off to spend 4 hours watching The International. that's the average amount of time i spend on one movie. attention span getting shorter day by day.

Labels: pointless post is pointless, random rants

i can be such a vindictive bitch sometimes. sigh. i find so many excuses to justify that but sometimes it still boils down to the fact that i AM a vindictive person. and i hold grudges. oh man, can i hold grudges.

okay no evil prayers! i do no need anymore bad luck!

Labels: pointless post is pointless, random rants

this is a work appreciation post, a reminder to myself that while working life is a complete bitch, sometimes there are still certain things that you can be grateful for and maybe i shouldnt wake up thinking, "screw this, i'm going back to sleep and taking an MC" on most days of the week.

IF THERE IS NOTHING I CAN BE THANKFUL ABOUT, I CAN AT LEAST BE THANKFUL THAT:

1. my office is centrally-located and this means that FINALLY i am near where all my friends are working (previously? dbs? chai chee -_-. starhub? FREAKING AYER RAJAH.) and also near SMU (yay mollie!). this makes me happy because on a particularly bad day like monday i can be all "man i'm having a bad day please meet me for lunch so i can feel like i'm back in those fabulous school days". if i wanna go all emo about this it feels great because it feels like my safety net is near me :) AWW. OH ME. i met jieying and jyn for lunch on monday and my week brightened up considerably. :) and my office is within 10 min walking distance of raffles place!


2. i suddenly realised the MD of my company looks like an older version of him:



true fact! and he's got a (what i believe to be, and i refuse to believe otherwise) british accent! matthew fox + british accent = YEAHHH.

(hey when there's a severe lack of eye candies around you you make do with what you have alright?)


3. i am employed. i should stop bitching.

Labels: pointless post is pointless, random rants