two days without internet connection was an ABSOLUTE TORTURE. honestly, it felt like i've been cut off from the world forever. like i told Good Friend yesterday when i happily brought my laptop along to liren's birthday party about why exactly did i bring a laptop to a party: "i very gian internet connection lah" haha.









and on a totally unrelated note
shocked me to the core when i felt the familiar hurt coursing through. SHIT LAR.
why like that?
why the vicious pining cycle?
we go one full round.

seah sent me an sms while i was out today and i nearly laughed out loud:








well anyway, today i was supposed to have a mugging session with dee @ parkway. naturally we failed miserably and ended up gossiping most of the time :P

aiya never mind. there's always next time! hahaha.

talking about stupid people/people with poor command of language is always much more entertaining! :D oh and i've also come to the conclusion that perhaps going to vj was a blessing in disguise because it kept my english standard at at least a reasonable level. i may be biased, but i have a huge problem with people who cannot speak or spell properly -innocent smile-

quote!

"hello, francesca? samantha jones. question: how the f*** long does lucy liu have to wait for that Birkin? well, if they're so hard to get, maybe you can explain why i just saw a f***ing nobody in a tracksuit carrying the exact one we want? lucy liu is a big, big f***ing star, and she wants that bag! is Hermes french for 'we take our good old f***ing time'? thank you so much"

love the show! :)

after an incredibly lousy and unproductive weekend, the week started off well! :) the original plan was to meet belinda, seah and shuxian for dinner at Astons along siglap followed by games at Settlers. (yes, it's us, the venn diagram!)

i have an incredible weakness for their mixed grill. sigh.

after dinner we decided that the night was still young, and after eliminating all the eating places and shopping centres, we ended up at east coast park, wanting to.. actually i have no idea what we wanted to do. we bought a bunch of candles and attempted to light them but failed spectacularly because the sea breeze was just too strong. hahaha. so we ended sitting around and taking pictures (while seah disappeared for quite awhile. HAHA)

yeah. ECP in heels. guess the idiot. hahaha.

we're proof that the world is very small. hahah :)

on a sidenote, i am very happy about how things turned out for my friend. it may not be the best that one could have hoped for, but the situation is still good. :) kudos to my friend for incredible courage and to the other party for being so mature. it's inspiring! because now my friend has successfully let go of the ghost of the past. maybe it's high time i did that for myself. -chuckles-



mol msged me out of the blue..

sonderkommando says:
oh ya i saw him on the campus things last night

sonderkommando says:
hahaha getting uglier n uglier

sonderkommando says:
think he looked better at millenia walk

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
hahahha ok i love you for saying that

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
not humouring me ah?

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
i didnt watch the show

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
hahaha

sonderkommando says:
hahah u forgot i dont humour ppl de

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
tts true

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
yar screw him lar he's not tt hao kan to begin with anyway

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
my sister was like "all the top 3 guys in the poll like shit"

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
hahahah i laughed my ass off

sonderkommando says:
ya quite true

and in a totally seperate conversation...

mandy says:
did u see the host faces when they met the polls ppl?

mandy says:
tsk

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
wah really ah??

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
when they met the guys poll one?

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
HAHAHAHA

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
figures

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
did u see The Asshole?

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
sucks can

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
even mollie said he's getting uglier and uglier

mandy says:
yeah the Asshole looks ordinary on camera

mandy says:
i was hoping he din get in

mandy says:
i even said HENG very loudly

mandy says:
my brother thot i was weird

mandy says:
hahaha

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
hhahahhaha nah i already knew long time ago he didnt get in.. if not you would have read all about me complaining about how blind the judges were

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
he this kind of face and dressing + no talent + cant even speak properly

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
how to get in?

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
you could undertsand him meh?

*man* inspired! 'tis the season to come clean. says:
hahahahha

mandy says:
hahahah no! his voice cmi

mandy says:
he still say he's gentle

mandy says:
thats gay can!

mandy says:
hahaha yeah, i'm sorry to say

mandy says:
he was abit gayish on tv




note that i didn't 怂恿any of them to make any of the comments above. hahaha i love my friends lah. they come and tell me things like these uninitiated and made me laugh :D

and like i told mol, you want to see truly hot guys in the show, must go SMU and see. those in ntu either are no standards + dio sabo or got standards but don't need the validation/in hiding.

and let us rejoice because the first episode of Heroes season 2 is out!! :D

suddenly i am extremely pek cek.
i have been pretty stoic for the past many weeks now. there hasnt been any massive moodswings nor have i felt any extremes of emotion. i feel very sedated. even when people come and kaobei me, instead of the usual pangs of annoyance and irritance i used to feel, i now feel absolutely nothing. these things, that would have set me off in an angst-filled tantrum in the past, now does nothing for me. all water off the duck's back.

however, since 人的忍耐是有限度的, it may just take another kaobei person/undone assignment to push me off the edge.

self-control is at an all-time low.

for some damn reason, my radio tuned itself to 933FM when all along it has been at Class 95 when i switched it on this morning, and 勇气 had to come blaring out.


such a mockery.



shut up lah, 梁静茹！！

what we do during BM212 lectures. :)

yes that's my eye candy. courtesy of peisee. who doesn't think he's all that cute because she doesn't go for the huge-pecs-and-tall-type and instead prefers the short-and-cute-and-flabby-types. hahaha.

a quote from Sex and The City. (really awesome show by the way. FABULOUS storylines that one can totally relate to)
"in love relationships, there is a fine line between pleasure and pain. in fact it's a common belief that a relationship without pain is a relationship not worth having. to some, pain implies growth. but how do we know when the growing pain stops, and the pain pain takeover? are we masochists or are we optimists if we continue to walk that fine line? when it comes to relationships, how do you know when enough is enough?"


i think there's a masochist in everyone of us, just based on the things that we subject ourselves to, sometimes. i know i am one. i constantly subject myself to more and more crap, sometimes even when i know i AM going to get affected by it, just to see how much more of the crap i can take.
but indeed, it brings about growth, and immunity. because each time, the pain hurts a little less, and eventually it numbs. and soon you'd learn to not feel, and not care anymore.
and that's why i want to find out things, i NEED to know things, and i WANT to know. i want to know every single detail that i know would hurt me, because i know the hurt is only temporary, before it gives way to indifference. masochistic? maybe. but all part and parcel of growth - i welcome it.



and speaking of masochistic, i don't know what's coming over me lately but it seems like i'm starting to develop a stubborn rebellious streak (which is about 6 years too late!!) which has me entertaining thoughts of getting a 3rd hole in my left ear and a 2nd in my right. yes so damn passe can. but what can i say? the inner ah lian is itching to come out HAHAHAA. :P


or maybe, i just want to become somebody i know you'd dislike. :)

cant believe i actually i had to suppress my feelings about what i liked just because you expressed dislike. wtf man.

i'm going out to study now. believe it. heehee.







right. now about 13 hours later i'm back at home. after a day of quality time by myself in the sanctuary that is changi airport. MUGGING, mind you.
i can't seem to recall anything i've studied though :( HS812's readings are MADNESS. i'm somebody who loves reading about psychology stuff and even i can't stomach the stacks and stacks of notes. argh.
and i'm starting to think i have Attention Deficient Disorder. haha. i CANNOT concentrate on even a paragraph for more than 20 seconds before i get distracted. this does not bode well. :(


other than that, it's been pretty productive. at least i studied, and in addition to that i got my hair cut and unleashed the inner ah lian by getting a 2nd hole in my left ear. hee hee. :) okay i know, so not lian lah. hahaha.
Good Friend dared me to get the top part of my ear pierced (eh, i don't know what you call that portion. but i know it's bound to hurt) but was a tad over my threshold for lian-ness, that and my threshold for pain. but who knows? i HAVE contemplated some time ago. hahaha.


looking forward to the term break! :)







awww. aren't you just the cutest? -giggles annoyingly- HAHAHAHA ;)
发花痴moment, excuse me!

fridays for me would be completely pointless in the weeks to come because i only have ONE TUTORIAL that lasts 1.5 hours thanks to the fact that when i arranged the timetable i had no idea AB228a lasted only 5 weeks. and you know how it's like: travel 3 hours in total for one 1.5hour tutorial. -.-


oh, but yesterday was a well-spent day! :)





that crazy girl! hahaha.

the ex-choir dudes rex and kimpeng! don't play play okay!

minus nic who left early. the kbox guy who took this picture really has some problem operating a camera phone. dunno where rex lookin' at lor. hahaha.

after dinner at mac (we originally wanted some botak jones but the queue was HORRENDOUS. must be all the hungry NUS students haha), we decided to head over for some mahjong at rex's place at bukit panjang (peisee and i had a very similar reaction at the mention of that area: rolling of eyes and gagging. HAHAHA)

i think my mahjong skills improved that night just by playing with those three. they're so DAMN GOOD CAN? i had no time to think, no time to look at what they were throwing and i didn't even have time to arrange my tiles properly and all of them were already starting to chat while i'm still arranging my tiles in rows of 18 in a panic. :( haha but maybe because i had absolute no time to contemplate which tiles to throw and had to discard them based purely on instincts, i also won a lot more times compared to when i'm playing with anyone else. next time i'm thinking no more! haha.

the loooong day finally ended at 1230am and rex very kindly sent all of us home in his car :) granted, he was on his way to fetch his gf from tampines, but still!

oh yeah i had a serious WTF moment just now when The Asshole msged me on msn and asked what's up with my msn nicks the past few days.

like i told seah, i felt like replying YOU'VE GOT TO BE FREAKING KIDDING ME!

i seriously wonder if The Asshole (and henceforth would be known as this. alternatively Asshole Lim would do fine too :)) is merely acting blur or he honestly does NOT know that my nick-changing is basically a variety of insults being hurled at him daily. and somehow, i think he seriously seriously IS that dense, in the same way as how i think he honestly thinks (with conviction) he has done absolutely nothing wrong to anybody up til now. dysfunctional and screwed up character? i really think so.

oh yeah, why is he not blocked and deleted from my msn list and most of all WHY AM I STILL MAKING SMALL TALK WITH HIM, you may ask.

i think it's much more shuang for me to be a complete hypocrite towards him, being civil to him (and taking into account that i have an uncontrollable need to be nice to people, sigh) while bitching, cursing and badmouthing about him every single chance i get. i consider it my prerogative to be a vindictive bitch. :)


oh maybe it could be that he's wondering why his good friend here forgot to wish him a happy birthday yesterday -smirks-

isn't it just sad and pathetic when the f-up choices you make in your life basically cost you some of your closest friends who now just want to erase you out of their lives? after all that you've done, i think you deserve nothing less than that.

seriously siao one lar some people. cannot be bothered with them -rolls eyes- i have more pressing issues to deal with, like how am i ever going to decipher my TCM notes.

i always like wednesdays because

seah and belinda

many many (failed) attempts at taking a photo facing the light.

okay i think this one is nice. seah please don't disagree. hahah.

now i must get back to touching up on my bm212. i am extremely distracted by Scrubs!!

Christina Aguilera's Fighter on loop. it's so DAMN EMPOWERING.
after all you put me through, you think i'd despise you, but in the end i wanna thank you, because you made me that much stronger -smirks-

thanks for making me a fighter, asshole! :)

i had a dream yesterday night.

i dreamt that you told me that you loved me, and you held me close.
and while all sorts of thoughts were running wildly through my head, the two thoughts that i could remember so distinctly were: "dear god, why only now? after so long?!" and "please don't let this be a dream, please don't let this be a dream, please don't let this be a dream..."

and then, evidently, i woke up.
we always do.

i don't know what it is with afternoon naps, but everytime i wake up from one, i always felt like shit.

bored. so i'm just typing down a few quotes from Scrubs that i just adore.

Dr. Cox: Hey, Bobbo, now when the dark prince does finally call you home, please promise me that you'll donate your body to science. And I don't mean medical science, I mean NASA. Because when those buzz-cuts have all but given up on trying to figure out just exactly what a black hole is, and they get one look at that space where your heart was supposed to be, well by-gum, you know they're just gonna say, [southern drawl] "Awwww, shucks! That's what it is!"

Dr. Kelso: Hey, champ! What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? [holds up thumbs, pointing in at self] Bob Kelso. How ya doin'

Dr Cox: "if the next two words coming out of your mouth are not "See Ya," then the third word will be "My crotch -- Oh my God, he punched me in my crotch!""

Dr Cox: "There are just so very many ways for me to say this to you. Never, Not in a million years, Absolutely not, No way Jose, No chance Lance, Niet, Negatory, Mmh-mmh, Nah-ah, Uh-uh, and of course my personal favorite of all time, "Man falling off of a cliff - " NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo..."

Dr Cox: "Should I speak slower or do you want me to go get a nurse that speaks fluent Moron?"

Dr Cox: "i would make you swear on a bible, but i know how contact with holy things makes your skin sizzle."

Dr. Kelso: "Doctor Cox, did you get my memo reminding all senior staff that lab coats must be worn at all times?"

Dr. Cox: "You know I did get it there Bob and at first I just threw it away, but then I decided that wasn't a grand enough gesture, so I made a replica of you out of straw and I put my lab coat on it with your memo in the pocket, and then I invited all the kids in the neighborhood to come over to light it on fire and whack it with sticks"

JD: "You know sir, Dr Townsend here was telling me you have some great old stories about the hospital, I'd.. I'd love to hear one sometime."

Dr Kelso: "Well, what the hell. Back in 68... I don't like you. The end"

well anyway quite a nice day at the airport doing work with seah today! :) finally sat down and got on with the bm212 report proper (mainly because there wasn't any internet connection to tempt me) did as much as i could with my laptop's limited battery power before switching over to FINALLY doing some reading on ab213. which was so boring that i nearly fell asleep twice. ahwell. at least it's work done.

and dinner was soooooo hilarious that i doubled over laughter too many times hahaha. what started off as just an innocent remark about how some stuff going on in our lives were ultra-drama ended with us writing a goddamn cliched Mediacorp Channel 8 100-episodes mega drama serial where both of us were the pitiable heroines with assholes and knights in shining armour in our lives, complete with a rooftop showdown where someone's being held hostage and a voting contest for you to choose which of the three endings you would prefer. HAHAHAHA. loads of crap, but provided so much entertainment that we were laughing all the way back to tampines :D looking forward to wednesday lunch with seah!

it's been a fairly pleasant week! :)
sat was soccer watching with kes at serangoon gardens (who insisted that it wasn't his brother in my TCM lecture, only to have me insist that it indeed was, and to have me proven right in the end hahaa. the two look like twins lah can -.-)







the evil peisee takes pictures of the presenters while she slacks. :P

even their lectures are held differently. haha.

after the lecture cum culture shock at Law school, we headed over to Tangs where i had to get data for the bm212 assignment (quite screwed, i am). dawdling around for around an hour plus was more than enough for me to decide that i was exhausted already and we had a lovely dinner at Soup Spoon :)

nice end to a pleasant week!

and actually, i'm annoyed on the behalf of other people. (yeah, i have too much time) i'm disgusted with the flippant way you can treat that issue, i'm irritated with how you just don't seem to understand that things like these take time and you can't expect things to be rosy overnight. but mostly, i think i'm annoyed because i can draw the parallel between me and her; we've both been hurt by you, probably somebody that we thought were different from the rest, but who turned out to be just as much of a jackass as the next guy. in the wise words of a certain wise man (it's william hahaha): "all guys are jerks!"

(yah. just because i said we are good friends doesn't mean i have to stop bitching about you. hahaha)

aiyo who cares lah! i'm in a forgiving mood these days. i'm starting to not give a damn anyway. -chuckles- :)

Moving on, it's my time, you never were a friend of mine. Hurt at first, a little bit, but now I'm so over it.

and minyan was quite horrified today when during one of her random daydreams, she realised how happy she would be to see him around school next year. but then she knows she cant be going down that path again, anymore. it was a conditioned reflex, years of accumulated feelings; you don't get rid of things like that in just a couple of months. but that's all that would ever be, that's all she'd ever let it be: fondness, at best, nothing more :)

i think one of the main reasons why people rather suffer from Oneitis is that it's incredibly terrifying how vulnerable it feels when you're actually in a real relationship.



this is bad.
forwards. forwards. not backwards.


我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起做梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

oh i wasnt wrong after all!


YES I AM RIGHT. I THRIVE ON BEING RIGHT. :)