you're just about everywhere aren't you? as though it's not enough that i run the risk of seeing you, i also have to hear about you, watch you and now i have to read about you?


seriously. wtf lah.


-rolls eyes-

真的是看到你就讨厌. i hope she relays what i've said.


okay okay. karma.
think nice thoughts :)

oh! i got Cute Guy's photo! HAHAHA. seah! remind me to show you the next time i see you :)



my thoughts are not very coherent these days.

yup. i think i was right about the story.
at first i thought it could be just pure imagination on my part, but now i'm pretty sure i'm right.
damn am i always sharp about such things.
haha alright, not entirely true. the pieces just sorta fell and fitted together into this little jigsaw puzzle it is.
not a pretty picture, that's all i can say.
rather amazing how much i can empathise with a (almost) complete stranger.

the rain just makes everything even more melancholic.



august. 'tis the season for heartbreak.

and to top it all off with an eerily apt post. have a little patience, or just read the parts in bold.


credits: http://cocksanddolls.blogspot.com"

How to Cure Oneitis


A recent comment asked me to discuss getting over oneitis. This is a topic I am painfully familiar with, so I am happy to oblige.

For those just tuning in, oneitis is the malaise that occurs when you get hooked on a person who does not reciprocate your interest.

There's something romantic about focusing so much mental and emotional energy on a person who will probably not return the feelings. There are restless nights and reverie-filled days spent devoted to the object of affection, which sometimes lead to grand sweeping gestures. Sometimes there is even bad poetry involved.

However, there is also something intrinsically unhealthy about oneitis. I mean, come on, oneitis rarely leads to a happy ending. More often than not, a relationship does not result from the obsessive fantasy and if there is an encounter, it usually fizzles. Either being worshipped will become tiresome to the subject of the oneitis, or the worshipper will be disappointed in the reality.

I think the first and probably most crucial step in dealing with oneitis is having a firm grasp on reality. It's very tempting to take small communications and hints and coincidences and blow them up into huge cosmic signs. When all the weird Film Felix crap went down, I convinced myself that I was meant to be with this guy. The tricky thing was that I had very little information to go on and that I never heard from him after our date-which-didn't-even-result-in-a-smooch. Normally, this would be when you say to yourself,

"Oh well, I thought there was potential for something, but obviously he doesn't want to pursue it. Time to move on."

If only it were that simple. Sometimes a person gets under your skin, even though you should know better and have very little to go on. Sometimes your mind creates a romance and then demands you hold on to it even though 99 times out of 100 it will never be real. Sometimes you have to practice tough love on yourself (and I'm not talking about some kind of kinky masturbation act) and let the hell go already.

I'm not saying it's easy. When I met Drama David, I was still hung up on Film Felix. I thought there was still a chance that I would come home one day and FF would be sitting on my doorstep (he lives a few blocks away, so it wasn't that implausible), professing his undying curiosity to know everything about me and bask in my multifaceted beauty. Or something. There were probably flowers involved, too. That never happened and was never going to happen.

And boy, am I glad it didn't.

I could have let my Film Felix obsession sabotage things with BF David. I could have stayed wrapped up in my fantasies and ignored the reality right in front of me, which was a wonderful man, who was treating me like gold, who I had fanfuckingtastic chemistry with.

I chose reality, but I also got really lucky. Many other times in the past, the oneitis had to run its natural course, wretchedly tormenting me along the way.The best advice I can offer for ridding yourself of oneitis is to do as much as possible to take your mind off the person. Eventually the distractions will evolve into something better than pining for someone that should have realized how awesome you are by now. A little introspection goes a long way, too. Why are you so hooked on a person who won't return your affection? Are you scared of potentially getting hurt in a real relationship? Are you lonely and in need of someone to pin your feelings on? Are you bored with life's routines and need something exciting to focus on? Are you merely in love with the idea of love? Oneitis is usually not about the actual person but what that person represents, their potential for fulfilling certain deficiencies in your own life.

Let's be honest here. Relationships come with their pitfalls and imperfections, but reciprocated love is always going to win out over unrequited love. Every damn time. So be honest with yourself and take that person down from the pedestal. Wallow and pine for a bit longer if you are that masochistic (and I know most of us are), but then stop looking at their picture, get out of the house, go kiss other boys/girls if you need to, and quit devoting yourself to a lost cause.


Or, at the very least, don't do anything that will result in a restraining order."




nicely put.

i think that the biggest mistake that a girl can ever make is falling for her close guy friend. it almost always NEVER end up well. i have seen too many examples, and not once did anyone came out of the mess happy.

oh alright. school wasn't that bad today, and i'm no longer pissed.
heehee.

oh cmon, gimme a break. i shall just attribute it all to PMS. girls' prerogative. haha.

shuxian's specs rocks! i've got half a mind to go get myself a pair.

oh yeah. me and peisee finally went for research methods lecture. HAHA. the korean lecturer's quite cute :)

what an incredibly trying week.

it started off most horribly on tuesday where i was
1.) bored to tears by my marketing tutor. can somebody please explain to me why Consumer Behaviour can be so INCREDIBLY DRY AND DULL?
2.) not impressed with my marketing class. alright, not impressed is the wrong phrase, more like, i feel no affinity. but it's early days after all, and the dull tutor only served to make things worse.
3.) annoyed to death by my own thoughts. i was apparently still hurting, her presence did not help (so not her fault though. oh do i hate the association sometimes!) but as the days went by i do realise with a little more clarity that this is the way things should be anyway. one day i will pass by that place without feeling the urge to burn it down. HAHA. that place is so cursed; i've had nothing but lousy memories for the past 3 years. if i have to spend CNY there again next year i WILL SCREAM.
(which reminds me of the conversation i had with Good Friend about what he'd do if he had $100million right now. he said he'd get himself a helicopter to fetch him to school, and said that he'd thus need a helicopter pad. i then told him that he's more than welcome to tear down that entire place to build his gigantic landing pad. sorry. just had to type that down haha)
4.) so frustrated with the rapidly piling up of workload that i skipped research methods lecture (for the 2nd time in a row! i HAVE NOT been to a research methods lecture thus far. haha) and went for lunch and dessert with yuexin and huizhi instead.


that one day in school was more than enough to cause me to fall into a stress-induced deep sleep immediately after i reached home. i woke up the next day itching with frustration and annoyance (心浮气躁 would be most apt to describe the feeling), and promptly skipped TCM lecture (2nd time too. i have no motivation lah) in a lame attempt to catch up on my work. instead, i spent half the time doing my work in a most half-hearted fashion and spent the other half watching Sex and the City and Scrubs. :)


thursday and friday passed by more peacefully as the screaming urge to return to bed at 545 in the morning became a little more manageable, and i was even in a relatively pleasant mood this morning, but i attribute it to the fact that it was friday and there was a long weekend ahead to look forward to :) i even got myself a lil' motivation for the early friday morning class. HAHAHA. CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE! my same friend by the very same association (yes, another one. sigh) cannot confirm whether he's attached, but ah well, no harm in eyeing! -grins-


and apparently, the combination of gym in the past weeks coupled with the stress and sickness had drastic effects on my weight. unfortunately, as i've complained most grouchily to william, i cannot see where i am losing the weight LEH. i think my weighing scale is lying to me.



week 2. merely week 2. it's going to be a very tough semester.

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
u ok or not?

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
got xin shi ah?

*man*
hahaha

*man*
i am ok now lah

*man*
how u know?

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
i know ma

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
i see ur face i know le

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
know u for 1 yr le leh

*man*
waaaaaaaah so lihai sia

*man*
what do i look like?

*man*
pekcek?

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
abit la

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
haa

*man*
hahaah u very smart leh i have to say

*man*
but now ok le la

*man*
hahaha

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
ok

*man*
thanks thanks :)

*man*
u are a gd friend

*man*
hahahaha

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
then jiayou

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
-.-'''

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
orh

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
haa

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
i am gentleman

*man*
hahaha yes you are

*man*
not bad

*man*
i am proud of you

*man*
you jing bu

*man*
hahahahah

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
kk

(li)DaNiEl(li) (tu) (tu) (tu)
don't sad hor!


all the times i called him a blockhead! my friend daniel is actually such a lovely person! :( and i still haven't mentioned the fact that he visited me with a bag of mini cakes when i was working at Gramaphone! (granted, he was on his way home, but still!)
sometimes i think i was really lucky to be stuck together with these bunch of people in semester 1 last year, most of them have become such good friends of mine! :)
Good Friend/Da Ge (since i already call his gf my da sao, but eventually we concluded that Da Ge sounds weird and i shall just stick to Good Friend) also made me laugh my ass off just now when he expressed his immense disgust about the sharing of his name with someone.
"but it's pronounced the same way as yours leh! your own name!"
"yah and i can't stand all those people with that name and my name, except myself. oh and i also hope that the double spec pulls his gpa down"
HAHAHA. that's Good Friend for you; forever bitchy, but so funny.


i LOVE them! :) too bad both of them wont be in the same classes with me for our core modules anymore. never mind i got shuxian! GIRL WHEN YOU COMING BACK??

strike one.

anyway resume photo taking sucked. i think nobody would want to hire me when they see my photo. and i think the photographer wanted to smack me because i just couldn't get the pose right. haha



i LOVE this song. just about screams what girls want to do.

Girl go head and be
(Just Like Em')
Go run the streets
(Just Like Em')
Come home late say sleep like em'
Creep like em'
Front with ya friends
Act hard when you're with em' like em'
(What)
Keep a straight face when ya tell a lie
Always keep an anti-alibi
(Keep Him In The Dark)
What he don't know won't break his heart

Wish we could switch up the roles
And I could be that
Tell you I love you
But when you call I never get back
Would you ask them questions like me?
Like where you be at?
Cause I'm out 4 in the morning
On the corna roll'n
Do'n my own thing
Ohh

What if I?
Had a thing on the side?
Made ya cry?
Would the rules change up?
Or would they still apply?
If I played you like a toy?
Sometimes I wish I could act like a boy

hell yeah. sometimes i wish i could act like a boy.