haha. spot the differences. 

dunman babes yay! 

vj051!!.. erm i think? eh who cares. PW sucks but the group rawks. our last minute work is simply fantastic :D 

the kbox peeps! 

four of us :) 

the year ones are lucky ducks. they get their results on the day of the oscars :(
ours was on the day after the blood donation drive i remember.
pretty traumatising.
i was so terrified of being kicked out of the school that i was telling my friend, i didn't care what i got as long as i got to stay.
well of course that was before i reached dunman.
then the principal had to go on n on about how well our batch did, that more than 1/2 the cohort got 6 n 7 pts.
so i was like thinking, 'hey yeah. maybe i'm one of those too!'
turns out i was not. d'oh.
but i was pretty ecstatic n relieved at getting 8. then.
the weekend after that i was pretty sulky. seeing news report after news report saying students from some funny schools getting 6A1s or more yada yada.
when i have like 5.
not to mention my cousin who got 7 the yr before. (the point being i've always been the best in studies one at this side of the family geddit?)
and i wasnt that 50% in dhs!!
-sulks-
anyway i think year one is a horrible year.
first you have to get through this O level stage.
then there would be the yucky midyrs.
then u'd better pray you get promoted after that.
phew.

that aside. think dhs did reasonably well this year, with one crazy ass getting 11A1s!
must be the first ever in our history.
but seriously who gives a damn about O levels anymore. everyone's getting integrated hurhur.


there are many unfounded talents in vj!
musicfest auditions (auditions mind you! it's gonna be a tough competition this year) being testimony of that.
many talents in our class too! that being sangi jiayun n eugenia.
sangi+jy were fantastic i tell you. missed eug's last week though!
but hey. there will always be the next round of auditions ;)


hey hey guess what. the fickle minded gemini (ahem. ME) has decided that a person like (Ahem.) is not really worth the time ( i didn't say MY time) spent so..
i'm turning a blindeye from all this superficial shit.
:)
note: just testing out this lil hypothesis of mine (that i can indeed turn away from all this shit). so if i fail, sure aint my fault
poh counted 10 long months!
whoahh.
nah i think he's wrong. it's merely.. 8.
-guffaws-
or 6..
eh who cares!
spa skill cd's more important -nods very earnestly indeed-


i seriously need to run. i've been slacking way too much. leg muscles are erm, getting flabby.
OH NO!


-yawn-.
no desperate housewives tonight. that's why i'm all cranky and bored.


jts pics soon. for now here are a few.
ciao!

alright quick one!
oosh. my head's all woozy and i can practically feel the exhaustion coursing through my veins..
but jts first!
thank goodness for the enthu junior class.
like rai said, we didnt click well with the senior class because we didn't like them.
i say amen to that.
n they're nice generous people too. fish n co!
okay so what if i feel fat and practically waddled my way to the mrt just now?!
i LOVE SEAFOOD.
it wasnt a too eventful dinner but there was some kind of a chummy feeling there. :)
oh yes amir spilt water on poh's pants. strategic location somemore.
-shakes head-
haha his reaction was INSTANTANEOUS. v funny.
we took tons of photos after that. caused such a din but really who cares
mortal+angel didn't come!! :(
how to take photos wit them??
never mind, shall do that after they come back from their results collection
they will stay. i have confidence :D

ahh. the feeling of satisfaction. stuffed from good fun and great fun.
now i shall go watch a nice romantic comedy with the gorgeous hugh jackman.
ciao!

i do hope they end up together.  

i love this shooww. 

home sweet home is dhsco.
and the best we'll always be.
ahhh. this is what real music sounds like.

that 3 xyz guys can never fail to crack me up.
on n on n on their mouths go. yak yak yak.
hahaha. love all of them.
let them stay on at vj pleasse?
oh yes yr ones. don't freak yourselves out with funny rumours.
don't freak my juniors out!!
it's more likely that MOE ran out of brown paper to print on..

i feel like bitchin' although i have nothing to bitch about hoho.
someone please come annoy me leh.:)

bio spa was such a joke!
everybody knew the qn beforehand, and basically had done the question a few times through.
stupid!
but who cares? all the better for people like me who can't be bothered to think.

cross fingers now. i may very well be on my way to owning an iPod mini!!!
i love you lydia!!!
i promise you a nice present for ur birthday :)

i got a letter from NUS about its open house.
gosh. i'm OLD.

ciao. i'm distracted by the stupid show on chan 8.

i'm updating cuz i have no mood for photosynthesis.
so yeah. i actually have nothing to say.
shucksss.
if you're actually reading this and you have bio spa tomorrow too, means you're probably just as sick n bored as i am.
so let us revel in our boredom and continue to procastinate in studying.
whoopee.

i am bored. i am sick of my life. i am so FREAKING SICK OF MY BORING LIFE

let's see. there's GP essay due. SPA skill A on fri. oh gawd i HATE bio.

bright spot: JTS on sat. puh-leaase. swensens' can? there's a limit to how much pizza one can eat.
oh yeaah. -evil grin- dear gy junior. we MUST brainstorm on how we can, ahem, you know meet-accidentally-on-purpose...

i'm a nut with cracked insides.
but sometimes i don't care.

i'm running tomorrow.
join me mandy? :)

i laughed at a couple of funny pictures today. really amusing.
the difference!!
-screams with laughter-

see----> my life is so boring.
i've got nothing to update you about.

HAHA. i'm back! after a hiatus of a loooooong week.
nope, my internet didn't break down. it was on purpose.
last week had been the most traumatising time which left me pretty much blown away (not in a good way mind you). so i'd rather not remember it for the rest of my life and so it shalt not be recorded down!
but yeah, like any other experiences, it did taught me a few things. so guys remember:
what does not kill you will make you stronger.



oh yes. long overdue thanks to jingying who gave me the mango bath n shower gel for vday!!
my body shop collection is just growing day by day. -self-satisfied smirk-
and guess what i just bought today???
no really. guess!


okay la i shall tell you.
african spa hair and body honey mud!!!!
best part?
reduced from 49.90 to 19.90!!!
i know i'm pro thank you very much :) yayy!!!
i think i basically got the last jar at TM today hehe.


anyway i think i'm spending waaay too much nowadays. i just bought 2 pairs of earrings yesterday which brings my collection to a very grand total of.. 6 pairs.
blehh.

you know, i actually have a ton of things i want to type about but once i sit down here in front of my computer my mind goes blank. terrific. well you shall just have to endure paragraph after paragraph with no links whatsoever heh heh.


sigh. school life just sucks. it sucks so much i've nothing more to say about it. it sucks so much that it is actually worth complaining about on my blog.
every single day i wake up and the first thought that pops into my head is "i don't wannnnaaaa go to school todaayy"
that or "hmmmmmmmm. how can i pon school today....."
i have no more motivation to get myself out of bed. i am this close <-> to falling back to sleep EVERY DAY. i don't even care if there are practicals on that day.
the last motivation has since flown out of the window.
good grief.
slightly cracked i am. or more specifically my internal organs. or one of them.
never mind!!

i like this.
to quote teri hatcher aka susan of desperate housewives.
i'm angry with myself for liking you so much without even knowing anything about you
i just lurrve that show.

another good one.
when you believe in love at first sight, you never stop looking.
of the movie closer.
which just reminds me yet again that i'm still 3 months short of being 18.
no biggie. i have no yearning to go clubbing legally. not that i have any slight desire to do so. no thankkee i rather spend 20 bucks on more worthwhile things like... anything from body shop really. :)


i am a die-hard romantic. i love soppy soppy romantic comedies. i aint going to pretend that i hate 'em when i actually loved watching them.
thus i totally absolutely 100% adore adam sandler n drew barrymore in the wedding singer.


i think i'm putting up a very good front indeed.
they think that means nothing much to me.
when actually it means everything.
well sorta.
aaaaaarrhh. frustration.
i'm so not over it.
but did you even think it ever began in the 1st place?
nahh. betcha didnt.
so yeah.
Not.
Over.
It.
and.
I.
Hate.
Myself.
For.
Being.
A.
Stupid.
Loser.
truth is.
something which i'll never tell.

anyways mj ah. i think you will win the FOTY thingie because you happen to be the most photogenic of the lot.
hoho. that didn't sound very supportive.
well okay. being the supportive and terrific friend i am, i will do you a favour and..
not vote for you.
heh heh heh.
it's one thing to win and another to be forgotten later on.
like your fellow S3 senior last year?
whose face got pasted on to that big IP poster in the end anyway.
truth is.
you don't look like the VJ type. you just look good.
haha can???
whew. compliment cum subtle insult.
so hello my dears, please vote for my personal fav. heeeheeee.

tomorrow being the last day of the lunar new year, means that i can cut my hair (cuz mj says it's bad luck to do otherwise. -__________-) and also means i have to return mj his 18 bucks.
hai.
life's not fair. why didn't i get 600 plus bucks for my angbaos toooooo.
i'm spoilt.


tell you what.
i shall end here.
and go indulge in my spa experience. wooohooo!
my writing has somehow depreciated in the past week.
how am i going to do GP essay with rach on thursday i ask you? huh huh huh??
mr chew's going to compare a very mediocre essay (mine duh what did you think) with one which seems like it came straight out of the pages of a.. something impressive la.
terrific.
aint life just looking up?
haha.
ciao.

oh ya i don't want to go for CCA tomorrow.

i know sometimes you guys can tell i'm not okay
it's not that i don't want to tell you what's going on
but when there's a matter of time constraint.
i can only give you the gist.
and it just sounds insincere i know.
and also, i'm terrified of breaking down in front of you.
and the way it makes me feel so vulnerable with my cover blown wide open.
so i rather just keep quiet
and hope that all these things will just pass by quickly
i'm not used to not being able to understand what i'm feeling
and it just irks me.

perhaps running is a good form of escape.
the strain on your body gives you something else to hurt




it would be good if i'm still hurting tomorrow during the mock napfa.

ha. ha.



anyway thanks for the sincere gifts from jam mandy sianghan junhong rach+co. janice+co. and the class guys. oh yes and cindy and simin+adel for the yummy cookies.
ah. my mortal for giving me exactly the same thing what i gave him. haha.
and jingying whose present i know i would surely love even though i have no idea what it is. hey man you know me!


cheers all.

i am (bimbotic comment alert!) having a bad hair day.
the ends are sticking out from each side and i look like..
i don't know what i look like but it's bound to be nothing good.
my hair has never been manageable in the first place but it's getting riduculous. bah.
i have my genes to blame.
my mother has wavy hair. my dad has poker straight hair. (well yeah. can you imagine a guy with curly hair??? okay there are exceptions) my sister has blardy straight hair. ditto for bro.
hence, the allele (not gene right? i didn't study for that genetics test -chuckles-) for wavy hair is obviously recessive.
and i had to be homozygous recessive. -______-
thank you thank you.

well. when i finally get myself curling tongs i'm gonna take advantage of my wavy hair and give myself gorgeous waves HAHA.
-swishes gorgeous hair-
waves darling. waves. not perm.
(some guys cannot tell the difference see?)
nah of course not anytime in the near future -whew- i can do fine with my hair the way it is now without making it even worse than it already is.


whatever it is. i'm going to make sure that NOBODY can see me on stage tomorrow.
and i mean NOBODY.
and if anybody tries to move my instrument into a spot from which ppl can see me
i'm going to MOVE BACK.
i've warned you!
so yeah. effectively speaking i won't be performing ya? cos' you didn't see me heehee.
i'm looking forward to mass dances tomorrow!
finally. after the last time during open house.
the class wants to wear their sec sch uniforms. i don't mind. but jam threw hers away!
so i don't really fancy being the only dunmanian walking around in the class.
and if i find out i no longer can fit into my old skirt i'm gonna cry.
okay lar. kidding. that was a bimbotic comment.
i'll just bring it in case i suddenly get high from the festive mood.


my my. keanu reeves is -swoooon- yummylicious!


digressed.


anyway sometimes i wonder if some people are really being bimbotic on purpose (for example ME :) ) or they're really that dense.
well given that they're such muggers i have to give them the benefit of the doubt that.. well perhaps they're actually smart people with low EQ.
i must say this again.
CANNOT MAKE IT LA!
i read that blog and i totally want to LAUGH.
like HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
oh gawd.
smint seah n lyd go read it too. you know who i mean. -winks-
oh gawd! (again)
look at one of the lines.
what is THAT supposed to mean!
are you trying to tell everybody you're damn skinny huh huh huh??
thickhead!
nincompoop!
loser!
(can't say you're a ahem. female dog cos you're not really one. i'm sucha nice person.)
blockhead!
in essence, a bimbo.
-tosses hair and walks away-


cny is always a time for good ol' blackjack. because no, i can't play bridge. sue me :)
the returns are often huge.
if only i can get over the fear of putting more than 1 dollar for each round.
so, last year, instead of starting with 80 cents and ending with 2.40, i would probably end up with.. a lot.
come to me angbaos!
whooosh!

thank you freddy orchard!!!
now i shall keep my promise and do my tutorials!
:)

pleaseeeee send me my password pleaaseeeee??
i promise i'll do all my tutorials dilligently everyday if you could just send me my precious password........................
pleeeasseeeeeeeeeee

I WANT MY PASSWORD!
I WANT TO DO THAT 16PF TEST TOO!!!
WHERE IS MY PASSWORD!!??
DON'T DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

i think resignation is a better word, rather than resignedness.
somehow i keep making up new words of my own.

oooh yes. finding neverland is the most charming movie i've ever watched!
sorrowful, yet sweet and magical at the same time. beautiful.
do try to watch it for that lil something special, instead of your usual boring action shows.


i'm now feeling like the sorriest ass in the world.
feeling upset and sorry for yourself simply just wastes time and emotions and yeah, plenty of energy too.
and it is just plain pathetic if you ask me, especially when the person you're upset at doesn't even care that you're unhappy.
-shakes head- so you're just self-entertaining.
so why feel sad over trival matters!
anger is a wasted emotion.
i would say 'why get mad when you could be getting even'.
but nahh. inappropriate.
i'm in the process of accepting it. don't disturb. :)

ohoh haven't told you about my angel and mortal have i?
-waves hi to angel again-
totally nice people. i am so lucky. unlike that stupid mortal of jam's!
i am sure you need three weeks to reply one single letter you sorry sod. well no vday pressies for you HAHA.
i got lucky this year. don't remind me what happened last yr when i got the SAME person for my angel n mortal, and he happened to be someone i already knew. -_____________-
i'm blessed :) with a great angel+mortal.
i think my mortal knows who i am.
it's funny the way he always gives me that weird look and i just pretend to not know him haha.
nice class.


shall go and fantasize about what i shall buy with my CNY money.
-evil grin-

okay so there i was sitting at my table with my halogens notes in front of me, i was suddenly hit with a serious bout of depression.
which left me staring blankly at my notes feeling the waves of anger and sadness hitting me again and again.
so now as i'm typing this, i'm left with nothing but resignedness (there is such a word. i've checked so there! -huffs-)

what's the point with feeling pissed off all the time. people usually don't give you the time of the day and they get pissed off at you too, which of course makes matters worse bcuz you end up feeling like a total ass since you were the one who was mad in the 1st place and now.. well you're too confused to know what's going on.
and yeah you feel quite stupid too since you know you won't be getting any apologies sooner or later or ever and you know in the end you're just going to be the one who's going to give in.
and this naturally doesn't make you feel good and this irritating little piece of memory is going straight to the bank of many reasons Why-I-Got-Mad-In-The-First-Place, to be used for future references. n of course, this whole cycle is going to repeat itself one of these days. again.
again and again n again n again.

if you think i'm being petty and unreasonable. so be it. i can't possibly make excuses for myself.
if you don't want to talk about it precisely because i'm petty n unreasonable, well. -shrugs- i'm resigned.

i've realised that if people are upset with you, it would be better to talk things through with them instead of waiting for them to get over it. because sometimes it just doesn't work that way. and the person just ends up getting more n more irritated over that matter.

so you want honesty? i give you honest.
why i'm upset you know. because you promised and you backed out. again. because i obviously don't mean half, oh sorry, a quarter as much as those new friends of yours. don't bother denying because i have a million and one examples just to prove it.
i can't possibly be upset over one incident. things just accumulated and got worse.
you know what. i think i seriously suck at trying to express how n what i feel in words. so i'm leaving this matter just at that.
we need to talk, but i'm not going to be the one who's going to initiate that just because you think it's better for me to cool down first. reminder : It Does Not Work That Way.



i'm blardy glad it's cny next week because obviously i ain't doing no tutorials this weekend.



you know what it's like to be infatuated.
to wake up every morning with motivation to crawl out of your bed to go to school. to look forward to each and every single day. the thrill of seeing him along the corridors after classes. the excitement of sitting near him during lectures. the happiness to meet him in the canteen during breaks. and when you look at him, it's the way he looks back like he knows who you are that infuses you with so much hope. suddenly, everything else is looking up and life just seems terrific...

oh you don't know?
that's alright.
because you wouldn't want to know how it is like to feel horribly crushed when the tiny ray of hope is robbed away from you.


i'd better clarify that once again i do talk about multiple things/people in one entry.



i feel like i'm stuck in rut. which is bad because these things are only supposed to happen to people who are fourtyfive. not 18year olds to be who are supposed to have their whole lives in front of them.
which reminds me i'd better get the career guidance book.
i still have no idea what i'm going to be in, hmm, 11 months time?

anyway i still think that the faces of the year thingie just screams "BEAUTY PAGEANT CUM POPULARITY CONTEST"
totally shallow if you ask me.
but totally fun too. hee hee hee. who gives a damn about being shallow.
this time i voted for girls who look like they're nice people.
i'm still pretty undecided about the guys. i'm torn between my conscience and my eye candy factor. hoho.
oh yes seah in case you want to know the eye candy factor won over at this current point in time. -giggles-
-pukes-
sorry that was purely intentional. i didn't mean to freak you out.


speaking of freaky, does anyone still watch the Twilight Zone? absolutely lame.
but -shivers- freaky enough for me. little girls changing their baby-sitters into dolls. gross.

you know how they say, when it rains, it pours.

everything just happens all at one go. sometimes it gets a little tough to take it.
and you want to do is just hide in your corner, away from everybody else.
you just want to shout at everybody, to leave you alone.
just let me be.


why is it that i seem to be losing my friends.
i feel that i'm drifting away from you. away from what i used to care about.
sometimes, i get really hurt and mad. and i may resort to harsh words just to get my back.
i'm sorry. but i also do know, my words have no effect anyway.
i no longer feel comfortable around you.
i no longer want to hang around you.
maybe you wouldnt realise it. because you won't notice it.
but when you finally do..
well i doubt it anyway. so just let it be.

subconcious comments truly reveal what you feel.
i am stunned.
so that's how much this friendship means.
ready to be forsaken when the situation changes.
one by one. i'm losing all of you.


disillusioned. by all the crumbling friendships around me.
depressed. by all the hurt and pain people are feeling.


to me, you were nothing more than just a trophy friend.
to me, you are now nothing more then just an aquintance.
i'm sick and tired of being emotionally dependent on your actions.


tell me. why does this school contain people that have the amazing ability to make others want to get the hell out of it.
"why do you look at me with different eyes. just because i am not eloquent in your language. i don't find your jokes funny. i don't see what's so great about what you like. i don't behave the way you do."
why do you judge before you even know.
why. why are my jrs leaving. driven away by the hypocrisy and thoughtlessness.
so typical of some people.
you all just make me sick.
blardy idiots.



on a brighter note, the retarded econs lecturer caught us for talking today.
"if you think you're so smart, why don't you come down and lecture instead?"
my reply (if i had the guts and my mom donates money to the school -smirks. like some people-) to miss econs lecturer of national income accounting: "sure. you are just reading from the notes anyway. i think i can save alot of time if i just read the notes myself without you droning on n on in my ear."
to which she would probably say, "get out of the LT!!"
then i would suavely pick up my bag, walk towards the door and reply cheerily, "you have no idea how long i've been wanting to do this!"
in my dreams....


never attempt to survive on 4 hours of sleep.
unless you want to endure violent mood swings and severe PMS-like syndromes. of yourself of course.


i should have just gone home today when i had the chance.

i'm feeling uninspired.
i'm feeling really uninspired because -pouts- i screwed up my GP essay.
-folds arms- i don't wanna talk about it. :(
i must read the newspapers more often.

anyway, no time to mope! i shall feel smug and smirk gloatingly over my successful shopping trip today. oh yes before i do that, i shall have to thank mandy n seah for their patience when accompanying me. :) very nice of 'em. i think i would have to kill myself if i had to accompany me on shopping trips.
yes, so i bought:
earrings
sandals
black top from some surf shop
adidas top
jeans
skirt.
BODY SHOP HAHAHA.

and now for the best part: everything within 120 bucks.

why am i so pro??!!!


onto other stuff! (before i drive all of you crazy with jealousy while i chuckle evily to myself heeeheeeheee)
some people are really quite funny today. or maybe it's just because i'm hyper after a good workout.

conversation:
sianghan: "next time when i have money i will go and stay in switzerland. switzerland is a good place because it is a neutral country. then i'll go stay in the mountains, eat chocolates everyday and buy a lot of swatch watches. "
me: "............."
me: (afterthought) "switzerland's no longer neutral la. that's why they're scrapping the Swiss chapter in SS. anyway you eat chocolates everyday you're just going to grow fat" (here we go again)
sh jam n me then bicker on for awhile about sh n his expanding waistline while he insists that he's not fat.
sh: "okay la. australia is also a good place to stay. i will stay on a farm buy a kangaroo then get a panda."
me (howls with laughter): "panda!!! panda!!!!"
sh: (oblivious to stupi... mistake):"what what??"
me: "do you not mean KOALA??"
sh: (translate to chinese for funnier impact) "whose father tell you panda cannot live in australia?? next time i'm going to buy a panda from china then put it in my farm with my kangaroo!"

alright. you have to be there to find if funny.


i am feeling.. confused because i shouldn't be feeling this way.
because it's wrong and it's against everything i've said before.
i can't feel this way because..
oh wat the hell. it's just wrong and stupid. and i'm going to end up getting hurt again.
(i think i may have typed something like this a long time ago.. hmmmmmmm. -ponders- i am repeating myself. n i AM repeating myself repeating myself. heehee.)
i think 'heehee' is such an annoying phrase to you. somehow it seems to represents expressing glee at the expense of others. "heeeheeeheee!"
i digress.
i am a very confused girl.
who is also very tired physically.
and just plain tired of trival matters.

for good times and bad times. i'll be on your side forever more. that's what friends are for..

is that ever true.
more than often not, it doesn't stay that way. you can pledge your loyalty to each other, pledge to be there for each other. but sometimes the most minor things can come between each other. just because of a simple misunderstanding.
and is it worth it to let the friendship crumble away because of that?
because one wrong move, things may just change for good. and by then, maybe it's a little too late for regrets.
don't be rash.
some things can really change forever. i know that.