sometimes i wish i had been born stupid
not stupid stupid,
but not er, intellectually able enough to have made it to a good secondary school
then nobody would expect me to go to a jc
nobody would expect me to get good results
nobody would expect me to go to a university
everybody would have thought a diploma was good enough
(what's so bad about going to a poly anyway? isnt the govt doing all they can to give them chances to go to the university? nobody seems to be caring about jc students leh ie let a levels stay the way they used to be instead of complaining to cambridge that it's too bloody easy. thanks ah. anyway i digress)
aren't dip holders doing as well as anybody else eh??
i should know right??
i see so many credit card applications everyday. they earn just as much as the graduates dont' they???
-snarls-


i wish i never had made it to dunman
then i wouldnt have made it to vj
then i wouldnt have been made to go through two years of utter hell and be made to literally take a walk through hell itself when i was made to take the a levels
and then 1st of march would just be another insignificant day
and maybe i would be able to sleep in peace tomorrow.



how could i have known that my coming to vj would inevitably lead to a complete shattering of whatever self-confidence that i ever had.

every single failure only leaving me digging desperately for something that i could be proud of
(but no. people do not recognise and they have to tell me that some people are still better)

okay lah you win! i'm dumb, you're 4As material. i'm mediocre, she's fantastic. i don't care. i give up.

i loathe it when people openly look down on me, but i loathe it more when there's nothing i can do about it.

why does time pass by so quickly?
WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING SINCE NOVEMBER 24TH?? WHY MUST TAKE RESULTS ALREADY??


anyway i don't wanna blog lah.
sian.

excuse me while my stomach lurches.

ah. i embrace the weekend


anyway cynicism would only get you so far before you start appearing childish to other people
i speak with reference to a blog which mr mollie so kindly informed us of -chuckles-
oh ya. cannot call him mollie anymore. recruit mollie. hur hur.

you know what they say; optimism is a sign of maturity.

ya. so life's good :D
(actually it's not, but then again, not the point)




there's either hope, or i have just lost my common sense again.



we completely created a din at TCC on tuesday.
that place was already quiet to begin with, and we were all practically yelling and screaming with laughter.
uh well what you expect. all lang's fault lah. haha.
the guys (mike chua, thomas goh and terence tan. HAHA!) look (weirdly) okay, and mj (most shockingly) turned up without a cap.
i didnt want to leave, because, as me and zhi said unanimously, 'going home will think of having to go for work tomorrow.'

ya so kinda obviously i suffered from terrible post-celebration blues the next day at work.


another week gone.


please remember.

there is karma.
er well, in this case it may not be in the negative sense.. but..

let's just say that

the means by which i found out something (which at that point of time amused me to no end due to the carelessness of several people), is now the means by which certain things may be revealed.

uh yeah. :)

when you're almost 19, it's passe to still want to try to act different, and go around thinking that the whole world is against you yada yada.



please, you're unique. just like everyone else.


anyway i was ahem, inspired after reading someone's blog. some major eye-rolling went on.