Proof why some Singaporeans shouldn't be allowed to reproduce (Miss Ris Low is example numero uno. Here's number two:)

A letter published in this week's 8 days (YES AGAIN)
"Your Singapore Idol issue brought a big smile to my face. I'm glad you gave the new batch of nubile young things their time in the spotlight. Who cares about Kris "Boring" Allen or Adam "Is he Gay?" Lambert when we have Sylvia, Tabitha, Nurul and Mae? The girls are cute, talented and hot, and we want to see more of them!"

First of all: OH MY FUCKING LORD, YOU DID NOT JUST COMPARE THESE BUNCH OF SUBSTANDARD WANNABE SINGERS TO CONTESTANTS FROM AMERICAN IDOL. You fucking cheekopek (Yeah obviously it's written by a guy. WHICH GIRL WOULD USE "NUBILE" TO DESCRIBE OTHER GIRLS?)I know you're probably using your other head to think while writing this letter but can you FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, STOP AND PAUSE JUST FOR ONE SECOND TO THINK IF ANYTHING YOU'VE JUST TYPED EVEN MADE THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF SENSE? YOU ACTUALLY DARE TO COMPARE SINGAPORE IDOL TO AMERICAN IDOL. LET ME KILL MYSELF IF I FIND OUT YOU HAVE OFFSPRING.

(Okay, I'll give you the "Kris Allen is boring" part but the rest of it is just NONONOFUCKNONO. And no matter how boring Kris Allen is, he has more talent in his pinky than all the top 13 contestants on Singapore Idol combined)


LET ME PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE FOR YOU.


RUNNER UP ON SINGAPORE IDOL


RUNNER UP ON AMERICAN IDOL



SIAO AH. OF COURSE I'M NOT GOING TO COMPARE SINGING CAPABILITIES. WHAT'S THE POINT?

(and also i was looking for an excuse to post the 2nd picture)

Labels: random rants, singapore idol makes me laugh

You know who I think are the coolest people?

Creative directors of advertising agencies. I'm not joking.
These people are the creative geniuses behind many brilliant ads. They facilitate the brainstorming, they come up with ideas, and they're probably also the ones pitching the ideas to clients. It never fails to amaze me just how incredibly creative these people are. FUCK, THEY ARE SO COOL, I WANNA BE LIKE THEM, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO DISCERNING CREATIVITY OR TALENT IN ADVERTISING WHATSOEVER. I just wanna be cool like them :( (The creative director at my old company was this angmoh dude who was so cool, he radiates the cool in rainbow streams)


Just a random thought after passing by all those posters publicizing the competition for the Best Creative Director in Singapore.

THIS SONG IS SUCH AN EARWORM.



Oh yeah, this video is definitely homoerotic, so little kiddies please stay away.

Cassidy, Cassidy. SO FUCKING HOT.

So apparently I like my boys gay/bi and smokin' hot. I have this theory that I'm actually a gay dude trapped in a girl's body. HAHA I AM GOING TO BE SINGLE FOREVER.

Labels: everybody loves hotties

random bitch from Singapore Idol in this week's 8 days:

How do you rate your chances of winning?
A: Ken says my voice is ordinary, but I'm working really hard on it so that one day it will meet his standards. If you're too different, you will have people who either love or hate you. By being safe and ordinary, people can relate to you. I don't have the strongest voice but look at Kris Allen. Adam Lambert had the voice but he didn't win. To be an Idol, you have to be likeable and somewhat normal"

OH HELL NO YOU STUPID BITCH. STOP TRYING TO JUSTIFY YOUR LACK OF TALENT BY SAYING PEOPLE WILL RELATE TO YOU. YEAH, THEY WILL RELATE TO YOU NOW, AND FORGET YOU LATER. AND HELL NAW YOU DIDN'T JUST COMPARE YOURSELF TO PEOPLE FROM AMERICAN IDOL. THAT. DOES. NOT. COMPUTE. EVER.

SCREW YOU. IF YOU SAY MORE SHIT LIKE THAT I WILL PERSONALLY VOTE FOR EVERYONE BUT YOU TO SEND YOU PACKING YOUR BAGS. BITCH PLEASE. AND YEAH OF COURSE ADAM LAMBERT ISN'T NORMAL. HE IS A GOD WITH SUPERPOWERS SO SHUT YO HO MOUTH AND SIT YO FAT ASS DOWN.





okay rant over.


Conversation last week that made me laugh:

me: oh in case you people are interested, kris allen's single is coming out on monday
seah: nope
william: no not interested
seah: tell us when adam's cd is out
me: I HAVE TAUGHT YOU PEOPLE WELL

HAHA I LOVE HOW EVERYONE PATRONISES ME! ;D

Here's a collage for you awesome people

Labels: adam lambert is a god... uh i mean what?, idiocy seems to be a common occurence, jttw makes me happy, singapore idol makes me laugh

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA



Now watch this



HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH. sorry about your eyes and ears.


Alright sorry there's really no basis of comparison and I really shouldn't compare, but I'm in an obnoxious mood. However, take a look at one of the comments on the video:

oh my gosh he's like a chinese version of david archuleta..in a way.. i mean the whole insecure thing of his looks and how he can sing really well too!

HAHAHAHHAHAHAH okok I know the person is not comparing their looks per se, BUT LIKE I SAID I'M IN AN OBNOXIOUS MOOD.

Labels: pointless post is pointless, singapore idol makes me laugh

My brain.. it has.. combusted.



If you haven't seen this, you really need to watch it RIGHT NOW. This has got to be one of the most hilarious and cringeworthy videos to EVER exist, and I was so busy alternating between screaming with laughter and facepalming so hard that I nearly sprained something.

Oh you know I LOVE to rip people like these to pieces. Giving me material like this is akin to waving a slab of lamb in front of a wolf. (okay awkward analogy but you know what I mean)

Okay you know what, I'm not even going to go into one of my rants about the failure of Singapore education and berate the humiliating English standards of Singaporeans as a whole. I just have a number of legitimate questions:


1. How the fuck did she win
2. How atrocious were the other contestants that THIS ONE had to win? Sorry to say, I'd have preferred somebody who was mute to win, any day.
3. HER ENGLISH TEACHERS. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?
4. Most, if not all, of my friends were brought up in Mandarin speaking environments. Not all of us spoke English regularly, and certainly some do not even like the English language. BUT NONE OF US SPEAK ENGLISH LIKE WE WERE STILL IN PRIMARY SCHOOL AND STILL LEARNING HOW TO PRONOUNCE WORDS. Seriously, what the hell happened there.

which brings me to:

5. Is there something wrong with her?

I'm not even trying to be snarky here, because I honestly think there's something wrong with her when (1) she apparently knew all the questions beforehand and still (2) took 34.8 seconds to tell the world what she's majoring in (Oh but then again people major in three different things lah, my bad. HORSE PEE TELLY TEE. HEEHEEHEE). I'm not even going to bitch about her ear-stabbing-inducing enunciation of words, because seriously my mind self-destructed the moment she opened her mouth to speak.


Girl. Stop speaking words, forever.

Labels: idiocy seems to be a common occurence, random rants

I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AT THIS CONVERSATION

(no you do not need to know the context. you're better off not knowing)

william: WOW
william: i am
william: 21-24cm
william: not bad
mian: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
mian: WTF!
mian: HAHAHAHHAHAHA OMG I AM NEVER GOING TO GET HTIS OUT OF MY HEAD
mian: what hte fuck i nearly typed "im never going to get this out of my mouth"
mian: AND WHY THE FUCK DID I JUST TYPE THAT
william: lol
william: shit
mian: clearly i am going crazy
william: YEAH
william: i agreee
mian: wahhahahahahahhahah i am LOLing so hard
mian: i want to die liao HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA WHAAAAAAT THE FUCK
mian: heng jingying not here
mian: freudian slip hahahahha


OH. US.

Labels: jttw makes me happy, pointless post is pointless

HI FOOD PORN FOR YOU?


shit I am so hungry. I could use some hokkien mee right now.

Labels: pic spam, pointless post is pointless

YAYYYYYYY

Fringe: 17th September
How I Met Your Mother: 21st September
House: 21st September
Heroes: 21st September
The Mentalist: 22nd September
Criminal Minds: 23rd September
Flash Forward: 24th September

SO MUCH AWESOME. I CAN'T WAIT!

And breaking out of my usual habit of watching shows that are sci-fi/criminal investigation/mystery solving related and sitcoms, I've started watching something that's actually bordering on arthouse drama.

Well to be fair, I did start watching it because I somehow had the impression that it was a comedy. And it wasn't. Snippets of dark humour at some points perhaps, but for the most part, I can't even classify it under a specific genre. And while this would usually put me to sleep right away, I'm somehow hooked onto it. (Also maybe because I'm a pretentious shit and I like to watch arty farty shit)

Could also be because it revolves around the advertising industry and it's a tad nostalgic to hear all the names of the industry giants and see the vibrant environment of an ad agency (although I would think it's safe to say I experienced little to none of that from my department, but whatever)

The first time I saw this I nearly fell off the bed laughing. (no he didn't fall over thankfully)


OH ARCHIE. How are you so adorable?? I'm so sorry that fat guy on Singapore Idol not only butchered your song last week, but also gave me nightmares imagining him in your MTV singing this song instead of you. I'm not an Archuleta fan by any means, but I mean CMON. LOOK AT HIM and look at that fat dude!

Sorry. Reaaaaaaally getting my bitch on today.

Labels: pointless post is pointless

WOW. JUST. WOW.

I have no words. This woman looks like she came straight out of hell as the she-devil.




Possibly the only time I will say FOUR FOR YOU FOX NEWS, YOU GO, FOX NEWS.

Anyway



HAHA Lady Gaga I know I said I hate you and everything, but seriously, when you wear things like this I can't help but laugh at you. And since you made me laugh, I can't hate you all that much. HAHAHA man you've got some balls!

(HAHAH EMINEM'S FACE IS CRACKING ME UP)

You really don't give a shit about what people think about you do you? YOU ARE ONE CRAZY BITCH AND I GOTTA RESPECT THAT.

Labels: pointless post is pointless

You know I'm not in the right state of mind when I'm replaying "Heartless" over and over again and wailing along to it. HOW COULD YOU BE SO HEARTLESS OOOOOOH HOW COULD YOU BE SO HEARTLESS. nice song, really.

Anyway I digress. What I was going to say that because I'm in a really shitty mood now, I'm just going to go right ahead and type all these.


I really really hate it when people, who lead such perfect and easy lives, create drama for themselves because oh heaven forbid that they lead such charmed lives; oh noooo life is so harsh on me, look at all these things happening to me, why on earth am I always the victim? oh look im at the centre of the universe, let me bitch and moan about all my problems to everyone in the vicinity and not care whether they give a shit or not because goddamnit i'm the centre of the universe how do they not understand it? everything gravitates towards ME ME ME, so my problems are everyone else's too.


Now if these things are actually happening, I'm not the kind of person who doesn't care. But when all these so-called problems are half the time imaginary, half the time self-created then I REALLY DON'T GIVE A CRAP. For cryin' out loud, try taking a walk in the shoes of other people before you whine endlessly about insignificant little problems.

Sorry, but your free pass to my patience and tolerance and listening ear has officially been terminated a looooooong time ago. Until you truly learn the meaning of empathy, don't burden me with stupid matters that are all just a figment of your imagination.



Thank you for reading this chunk of bitching. For your time (because I'm actually appreciative when people take time out to listen to my problems), have a funny picture.

Labels: random rants

BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE

I NEED A FUCKING COUNTDOWN TIMER

Labels: adam lambert is a god... uh i mean what?

CAN YOU SEE IT? IF YOU CAN, TELL ME AND I WILL GIVE YOU A COOKIE IF YOU CAN SEE WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SEEN IN BOTH.

I laughed so hard at the first one when I saw it, and also at the second. Don't worry. Nothing scary. Both are hilarious. (Not so much the second one; still wondering if it's photoshopped)


AND ONE FOR THOSE WHO DARE TO STARE AT THIS LONG ENOUGH. (seah I'm looking at you. I know you like scary shit like that)

If you've got a weak heart like me then better stay far away from this picture. I saw it in bright daylight and I got creeped out. Well then again, it's me.

Labels: pointless post is pointless

Further proof why 8 days will forever be my favourite magazine:

On their list of annoying things featured this week:

12. Celeb Blogger Perez Hilton
Oh yes THANK YOU. Really, why is somebody that untalented and ugly even famous? He spends half his time slagging off celebrities and spreading vicious (and may i add, false) rumours, and the other half kissing Lady Gaga's ass. (that's enough reason to hate him in my opinion)

You will not believe how much I laughed the day will.i.am sucker-punched him in the face (after he called will.i.am a fag. No I don't know what was going through his tiny mind when he used that homophobic slur especially when he himself is gay. I do not try to comprehend stupidity)

Now 8 days, if only you would add a certain local blogger to your list, I will give you my firstborn.


20. Nosey relatives who bug you about when you're getting attached/married/pregnant/a better job - do we ask when you're hitting menopause?

ON SNAP! Thank god none of my relatives do things like that to me, so this is for the rest of you who have unfortunate relatives like these.


27. Decisive friends who pretend to be indecisive - They ask you to choose the restaurant, then reject all your suggestions

HAHAHA. Now who does this remind me of..



30. Cantonese dramas dubbed in Mandarin - The reason why the brilliant Heart of Greed is a dud on Channel 8

YES. I know you're trying to promote speaking proper Mandarin, but honestly? Dubbing just takes away the essence of the whole show. Some jokes just don't translate and it's so jarring to hear the chinese translation and know it means entirely something else. At least give the option of dual-language. I'm more than okay with the people doing the dubbing for HK shows (because have you heard the local dubbers? HORRORS OF HORROR) but nothing beats the original voices.



34. Salesgirls who shadow you. Then rearrange the stuff you touched the moment you walk away

I really don't need to explain why this is so freaking annoying.



37. People who hold up queues at the train turnstile cos they insist the scanner can detect the ez links in the abyss of their giant bags

This always happens to me and when it does, I roll my eyes. There was once the woman in front turned around and saw me rolling my eyes. Normally I would be embarrassed, but it was a tiong so I rolled my eyes more.



And the cherry on top of the icing? They slammed Gurmit Singh's joke of a hosting job on Singapore Idol last week. How awesome is this?? First of all, Dick Lee basically bit the heads off of all the contestants I couldn't stand (and telling one guy who was playing the guitar that this was a singing competition, not a music competition. MR LEE I BOW DOWN TO YOUR WISE WORDS AND LAMENT WHY YOU COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ON AMERICAN IDOL) and now 8 days calls Gurmit out for his lameass jokes and nonsensical rambling??

Wow if this kind of epicness continues, I am so going to continue watching the show.



And yes I realise I've totally given up on blogging about Europe. I just can't be bothered, which is unfortunate because I'm missing out on my favourite places Paris and London. AH WELL. PICTURES.

BERN

boring

LAUSANNE

pretty but boring

GENEVA

expensive, pretty and boring.

(Yeah not really fans of these places)

PARIS

One of my favourite places in the world. Paris is honestly one of the only few cities that can live up to its hype. It's gorgeous, romantic, everything they say in the books, and more. And the city was just so darn PRETTY.

And the fantastic weather was just a bonus. (Although it did get a little too cold on the third day and we were all getting grumpy from freezing too much) Oh and Parisian guys are hot. No competition.

LONDON

Now if there's one place I could love more than Paris, it was London. The place redefines the word "charming". I guess it suits me perfectly because it straddles between the old-world English charm and modernized chic well. And the shopping? O M G. I spent the bulk of my savings in London, and went home with tons of clothes, books and makeup. I WANT TO MOVE TO LONDON DAMNIT.

OH YEAH. Guys with British accents? DO WANT. After almost 3 weeks in countries where I have no idea what the hell people were saying, I practically swooned when I first heard those damn lovely English accents.

dinner with eric and friends

EDINBURGH

Compared to Paris and London, Edinburgh definitely had a slower pace of life. It also had more of the European old world charm - the buildings in the city were mainly constructed out of stone and brick. VERY PRETTY. I don't know why but the place just resounded with me. I loved it (Also maybe because I have a thing for Scottish accents and I'm biased)

One thing's for sure though, Edinburgh has got some of the most gorgeous scenery - the sky's the shade of the most brilliant blue you could possibly imagine. It's AMAZING.


Okay that's all. And the whole blogging about Europe thing only took.. 4 months!

Labels: MS, random rants, travel log

I have to say:

I'm sorry. I don't get you at all, I really don't.

I mean, I understand why you say and do things this way, but I can never understand why you see a need for them to be that certain way. I don't know whether I should be horrified or amused that it took me this long to realise that perhaps I will never ever understand you (and in fact, have no desire to do so).

Well, you will never know, but I'm sending you a mental apology for everything I've said. You're way too warped for me to grasp and I will no longer make the effort to do so.

Yeah, this is me repenting. (A little bit)
Haven't you heard? Us the motley crew (that would be me seah lydia and william) are all heading to hell on the Express Service with one-way non-refundable tickets with everything we said last Friday. IT IS GOING TO BE KICKASS AWESOME. We will spend our entire lives in damnation bitching non-stop!
I'm repenting this teeny amount now not because I don't want in on that hella party (haha), but because after everything I said yesterday, I'm most probably going to party with Lucifer himself, and that's probably not so fun. I wanna party with my peeeeeps.


(ok I have no idea why I'm even talking about this. I'm so sleepy my brain's not functioning anymore)


me: "blah blah blah. OMG I AM SUCH A BITCH. WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT"
lyd: "you know, just because you say it out loud doesn't make you less of a bitch"
me: :(

le truth.

Labels: jttw makes me happy, pointless post is pointless

Seriously, the lyrics:

Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance

Never meant more than now.

So I guess I'll have to leave it all up to fate to decide.

Labels: pointless post is pointless

BWAHAHAHHAHAHHA OMG I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING. HAHAHAHAHHAA.


I think I have a serious elitist attitude towards certain things sometimes. Okay I'm honestly not going to say it here, but you all would know what's my biggest pet peeve of all. This certain thing that I just saw had to combine my pet peeve + one of my most favourite people in the whole wide world. I would be annoyed if it wasn't so incredibly bad and hilarious. I laughed. I showed it to William. I cursed a little. I lamented the lack of intelligence. And then I laughed some more. And now, fifteen minutes later the hilarity has died down and I'm just cringing with embarrasement for that person. Maybe I'll go back to laughing later when I see it a second time.


Oh good times.

Labels: idiocy seems to be a common occurence, random rants

Okay serious question now people.

Is it just me or is the whole world suddenly getting.. *gasp* engaged?!

I don't get it. I really don't. When I heard about the first person I know getting engaged, I was all "OMG WHAT" and subsequently went "okay cool congrats!", and dismissed it as an isolated and rare case. Now, five more examples later, i really need to ask: IS THIS A NEW TREND I'M NOT AWARE OF? WHAT IS GOING ON? Is this like the new bubble tea trend, but instead of a bubble tea stand, these people are queueing at the ROM??

I get it (well not really. BECAUSE YOU ARE 22. NOT 32.) if these couples have been together for any amount of time above 3 years. But if you've only been with that dude for slightly over ONE YEAR (AND YOU ARE 22. OMG 22. TWENTY TWO) and you're agreeing to marry him.. I don't know I don't know. Maybe I just have really biased opinions in this, but aren't you a little too young to have that kind of responsibility? It's not just the problem of financial capabilities, but also the notion of being tied down forever NOW.


Alright alright maybe it's just me. I like being childish and carefree and FREE, so while this piece of news may throw some people into some sort of panic attack about not being attached/engaged at 22, I'm just really amused right now. *shrugs*



FREEDOM IS MINE AND YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL IT'S A NEW DAWN IT'S NEW DAY IT'S A NEW LIFEEEE FOR MEEEEEEE (not quite relevant save for the first line but the song came up on shuffle)

Labels: random rants

I found my primary school health card today.

14 years ago, I was 40 cm shorter and half my current weight.

JEEZ HOW WAS I EVER THAT SMALL?



September is upon us, and once again it's the time where all the shows start in the US. WHOOPEE!

Labels: pointless post is pointless