good grief. all along, caffeine has only served to put me to sleep. but for some damn reason, the extra shot of espresso in the coffee we bought yesterday (MOL AH. THANK YOU. haha) caused me to stay awake til 3am, and i only managed to fall asleep at 430, only to have my alarm wake me up at 630 so that i could go switch off my computer which was downloading stuff, and i haven't been able to fall asleep since then.



great. just GREAT. now i'm sleepy, cranky, and choked full of weird confusing thoughts no actually you know what? i don't care nor give a damn. i've been fine up til now and i really don't need this. 莫名其妙ah!!


YAY. KTV WITH MY FRIENDS. :) but first i'm getting myself a haircut. it has reached the uncontrollable stage.

you know i always complain about how my jc life sucked, how i disliked the class, and then some. but i can't deny that whenever i take the bus past vjc, i would realise that actually i miss the school quite a abit.

i think, if are already jaded enough and you see so many people around going through exactly the same shit as you had been through, you're more inclined to think that:

1. all guys are jerks

and

2. being good-looking and having a good character are two mutually exclusive traits.

and

3. if he sounds too good to be true, he probably is. no, scratch that. he IS.


eh. my guy friends not included. 'cos i don't care whether you people are jerks to other girls or not. HAHA. as long as you all are still nice to us, i still love ya all and you're excluded. hahaha.



-.- yup i have no idea what i'm talking about.

sometimes, don't you think some people just make you lose faith in all of mankind?

i think you have to really be over something/somebody before you can truly look back, and think to yourself in horror that you've just wasted almost a fifth of your life away on something you should have forgotten, too long a time ago.

i mean, why do some people act this way? i think i will never be able to understand.

well, i'm so glad to say that i've finally seen the light, for awhile now. so blindingly clear. annoying that it took so long, but i'm just relieved that it's truly over. so odd, don't you think. it's as though one day you wake up, and you realise that, you've managed to haul yourself out of the pithole. oh, the sweet sense of relief!
but then, i know that some of my dearest friends aren't there yet. and it sucks because i see that they're going through exactly the same thing i went through. torturing themselves with the endless questions, the what-ifs, the occasional high with the inevitable low that would follow. i truly want to help, but there's nothing i can do because the cliche of time heals actually means something. but then again, i won't want them to waste so much time before it finally ends, like i have!!

ARGH.
i so do not understand these people. do all these people hailing from the same place act the same way!?

and it irritates me further because i now have the disposition to think that all these people are just jerks. you may not be able to tell at first, but when you know them long enough, you'd find out that they aren't actually as nice as they had seemed initially.
even when some people may actually be truly sweet and nice.



aiya. i shall irritate myself no more.

over msn. a conversation with yuexin and eric.


x=yUexIn=x
oh hihi
x=yUexIn=x
eh am i hallucinating
x=yUexIn=x
minyan's pic is lin feng?!

*man*
HAHA!
*man*
yes it is!!
*man*
lin feng rocks!
*man*
hahahahaha

x=yUexIn=x
ahha oh cos i haf e same pic!

*man*
!!!!!

x=yUexIn=x
ahhahahah

*man*
IS IT!!

x=yUexIn=x
ya! !!

*man*
YOU LIKE LIN FENG TOO!
*man*
HIGH 5!!

x=yUexIn=x
ya!!!

*man*
eh cmon change ur pic

x=yUexIn=x
^5!

*man*
hahahahahah

x=yUexIn=x
hahah okok


and there you have it. HAHAH can't stop laughing man. poor eric was neglected (we were supposed to be discussing his birthday celebration plans!) while the two girls gushed over raymond lam. hahaha.



anyway, we then continued discussing about where we wanted to go for dinner. and this came about..


yuexin: "eh if not we cook for u la"
eric: "hahah ok la can. we break into ah yin house, ask her parents to go out!"
me: "erm yx my skills limited to fried egg and noodles"
yuexin: "ahah ya minyan..i am no better den u "
yuexin: "ahha need to break meh? tot u are e future son in law?
yuexin: "wahahahahha. should haf key rite?"
minyan: "oh man jiayin shld see this conversation!"
eric: "hmmm i'm henpecked la.. u all dun noe only. she will keep all my money and keys"
yuexin: "haha keys?? she dun let u go home?"
eric: "hahah car key, her house key.. everything lor"
yuexin: "oh means she can control wad time u go home? too late..she dun wanna open door for u?"
eric: "then need to ask permission from her be4 i can go anywhere
yuexin: "ahha oh my"
me: "ahahhaahhahah!!"
yuexin: "so poor thing!"
eric: "seriously hen pecked."
eric: "ahha ya henpecked to e core"
me: "hahahahhaa so funny!!" (yeah that's about all i can say :P)
yuexin: "how can u tolerate dis?"
eric: "but nvm.. no regrets"
me:"HAHAHAHA"
eric: "wei le jie jing shen mu"
yuexin: "haha woah u must haf luv her deeply hahahha"
me: "eh eric i shld remind u that anything typed here can be used as evidence on my blog"
eric: "hahah go ahead"
me: "whoa! ok!"
eric: "haha let ah yin noes her mistakes!"
me: "hahahahhahaa"
yuexin: "haha well..i think eric will be happy dat u display dis one e blog!"
yuexin: "ahha wahahha dis is realli funny!"


wahahhaha jiayin, who do you feel like killing the most now??




we had a short mahjong + Risk session this afternoon. and jj completely amused me by doing this.


he meticulously arranged ALL the teeny tiny soldiers bits in rows okay! HAHAHA. i had to take a picture! so endearing hor? you can just imagine the 10-yr-old jj with his toys and making lots of fighting noises. heehee!
oh and good news for me, i've just found a whole bunch of hongkong dramas that could be worth watching! and i'm even watching this period drama just because raymond lam is in it, and you know how i usually have a low tolerance level for period dramas because of the typical plotlines and all the fighting-in-the-air with lots of smoke and cheap lousy CGI effects! okay this one has all the makings of a typically cheesy period drama, but because it's actually mildly funny, i shall continue watching it.

oh but i'm always annoyed by how the actors play the guzheng in the shows - so incredibly fake! i think the closest i've seen any actor actually playing it with any hint of resemblance was jay chou in one of his mtvs. well, at least by the way he's playing, there's actually going to be some music coming out.

well hey, a week of literally decomposing at home paid off with a saturday that left me pretty happy but also completely broke!

i'm sorry but i think his voice absolutely rocks and so does the song, so you'd have to listen to it too! :)

my, can this guy sing or what! and so cute to boot!
anybody with Survivor's Law kindly lend to the poor, bored and unemployed me please!
(i'm still painstankingly downloading Friends, i've finished Heroes, which is not something that would warrant a second watch actually, done with My Name is Earl, and basically, i'm nearing the end of my supply of shows. not good. oh but on the bright side, LOST is starting again!)

i swear beetles have something against me. not do they often like to fly haphazardly into my room, they also like to come buzzing towards me even when i'm in the living room and my whole family is there. out of everyone, ME. like they all inherently know that i'm the one who's likely to scream the loudest should they fly towards me.


so anyway i'm up at this unholy time (i'm usually not up until about 4 hours later) because one of those disgusting little bastards flew into my room at around 2am last night. i was damn peeved because the resident Beetle Catcher (my sister) was already fast asleep. anyhow, to cut a long story short that nasty cretin was minding his own business, you know, usual business of banging itself on the light, until it banged itself against one of the metal legs of my table with a really LOUD 'PING' and the buzzing stopped (i could only presume that it has managed to knock itself OUT.) so i thought, fantastic, now i can sleep in peace.

WRONG. or at least, right, up til now.

stupid thing buzzed so loudly at the window above my head that i was jolted out of my sleep. (see? once again, so many windows, must choose the one above my head leh) after several futile attempts to go back to sleep (bastard buzzed intermittently and woke me up whenever i was about to fall back to slumberland) i picked up my pillow and blanket and headed over to my parent's bedroom to try to sleep there. and then the buzzing started again! ok i swear i was not hearing things. either the beetle followed me over there (hahaha. that sentence looked funny) or there's another one of those evil things lurking in my parent's bedroom too.

i wanted to gave the whole "i-am-hearing-things" idea a shot but after 5 minutes of the same damn buzzing i gave up and went back to my room and switched on my laptop. and i can tell you as i am typing this entry, since 15 minutes ago, i have not heard a single buzzing sound, which just shows you that those things are out to get me to wake up at this crazy time. later you see ah, when i go back to my bed, the buzzing will start again.


bastards.



and this is why i have no fear of dogs or cats or even lizards but these brainless kamikazes just freak the hell outta me. oh yeah, those and cockroaches. yeurk.


oh well. it's just as well anyway. i was having dream that could very well turn out into a nightmare (one of those with evil people trying to kill you should you find out their evil secret. HAHA) it's weird how all my dreams lately are all really vivid and i can remember what was most of them about even after i wake up for awhile.
oh remember the orlando bloom dream? heh couple of days ago it was raymond lam! HAHAHA :) and heng ah, this time round no phone rang, just that i couldn't really remember what really happened. oh but what the heck, raymond lam leh!



think i'll go make myself some breakfast. it's been quite awhile since i've had some, having always woken up at noon.



actually, i think it's a good thing that i'm cooped up at home for the rest of the hols. this way, i don't get to go out and fritter away my pocket money, and instead, i can save all of 'em up and splurge at one of those Back to School shopping trips! seah! let's go shopping at the end of the hols okay! and god save me i've just discovered another two more online stores selling absolutely GORGEOUS clothes!! :( oh the irony.

well, i'm pretty sure i'm going to be unemployed for the remainder of the holidays - just turned down a job from Recruit Express because it overlapped with my subject registration days, therefore more or less telling that guy that i won't be able to commit to any job. OH WELL. yuexin, mahjong hor. :) haha.


and speaking of subject registration; ah it's the time of the year again where all of us go crazy over planning our schedules. and this time round it's going to be even worse because we're not allocated any modules and actually have to SNATCH for them. once again makes you wonder what the school is paying the admin department for.
right, wish me loads of luck. because after a whole afternoon of planning and shifting, i've finally come up with a 3day week :) now it's up to Lady Luck to grant me and shuxian that.


on a sidenote: real madrid champs of La Liga again! after a reaaaallly long drought period i must say.

i'm in a really, really bad mood.


but i'm sure that's just the PMS talking.

finally managed to schedule a study group birthday outing (plus mollie and eric, minus jiayin and vincent. jiayin we miss you! look below for further proof hahah)

today i finally found out why people can just sit there for 6-7 hours straight playing mahjong.

it's because THEY ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GAME.

prior to today, i have had very little patience for mahjong and would rather, do anything else really, than to play mahjong. well that's because i only know the basics of the game, and hence i only know one way to win, which just makes the game annoying to people who actually know how to play it, and makes it really boring for myself.

but after today's long, enriching, and extremely educational mahjong session with jieying seah and lyd, i've finally rekindled my liking for mahjong! YAY. i'll always be on for mahjong now, call me! :)
and the day was nicely rounded off with a yummilicious dinner at IKEA. meatballs and that omg-licious meatball sauce!
good food makes girls happy :)




unfortunately the lovely day was slightly marred with the mention of certain disgusting people, and disgusting behavior, which made me really, really annoyed and irritated (even on the behalf of other people)

seriously lah, some people are so damn kaobei.


you know you have severely crossed the line when i wish nothing but foul luck for you, the mere mention of you makes me scowl, you no longer have a name and is instead known as The Jackass, and i so honestly do not give a damn that your arms and legs can fall off and i will still just shrug my shoulders and say "WHICH PART OF ME LOOKS LIKE I CARE?"

OH MY GOD I WAS HAVING THE BEST DREAM EVER - THAT ORLANDO BLOOM WAS MY BOYFRIEND.









AND THE FRIGGIN' PHONE RANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we started off by saying that we HAVE to go to the zoo

reminder to self:

agnès b is pronounced as :

Anne yes (like Anne and yes ) And B is pronounced like the be- of better (not like bay)

ever had a hard time pronouncing those bloody designer names?
HELP is here.
hmm. but i seriously wonder how anybody NOT french can pull those names off without sounding like a perfect arse.

my friend daniel on msn : "hey results out le, go check leh"
me: "don't want. i don't believe you"
(bearing in mind this is the very same person who bluffed me that my FM tutor wanted to see me after i skipped one of his lessons, and also tried to trick me into believing him that the IT quiz was canceled)
daniel: "... no i never bluff you, really out le!"
me: "haha nono i don't believe you. you always bluff me"
daniel: "... no really!! don't believe you ask shanjing lor"


okay so in the end it turned out that the results were really out.
what's with ntu's admin seriously?? last semester they just simply refused to release the results until like, 11am in the morning (and hence i got up at 9am for nothing) and this time round they post it way before anybody else expects! BAH.


so anyway, after refreshing the bloody system for about 10 times, i finally managed to get in. i got quite a shock because i left the page alone to load while i went back to watch Joey, and i just randomly clicked on the page, and the results literally popped up in my face.
okay so i did better this sem (oh, the coveted 4.0! yeah, it's nothing compared to what the crazy accountancy people can get, but hey, it's ME) but the overall GPA still falls slightly short of 4.0 :( and i think the results for biz law and comm management only goes to prove further that i seriously excel in incoherent ramblings. screw you anything-to-do-with-numbers-and-IT! marketing here i come!


oh yes, i must do this:


my Good Friend derek got 5.0 for his gpa.

okay everybody can go and kill him now.
SIAO RIGHT!
i thank the gods that i'm not in accountancy. :)

a day of shopping tomorrow! or rather.. later.

ever felt like this?

results are out this friday, and by sunday i have to choose my specialisation.

pretty clear that it's going to be marketing, but there are still moments where i hesitate, that's why i'm leaving the choosing to the last few days.
actually, it's not as though i have much of a choice - banking is the first to be OUT (unless i get A+ for FM, which is as possible as, oh several things i can name the top off my head, but never mind. -smirks-), IT is just as impossible, i don't think anybody actually remembers that there's Acturial Science, it's too late for me to consider tourism (and anyway with only 50 places and tons of people who actually have the passion to be in the industry, not bloody likely), so that just leaves me with HR and marketing. i like dealing with people and my OB's relatively ok.(i always tell Good Friend that i have an uncontrollable need to please people. HAHA) but HR doesn't seem like a job with tons of opportunities. HR director, anyone?


so then there's marketing.

but sometimes i have to ask myself - am i choosing this because i really am into it, or purely because i've run out of options? i don't want to be stuck in a job where everyday i wake up and i feel the overwhelming urge to go back and sleep (which is pretty much what happens everyday of the school semester). and i have absolutely no idea whether marketing is something i'd be good at. obviously i'm good at incoherent ramblings and making sense out of rubbish, but how is that going to work once i graduate? i don't want to be stuck in some silly marketing executive position - it's going to be marketing manager, no less! (haha. jesting) and how the hell am i supposed to achieve that, i have no idea (yet). i don't even know whether i have any creative juices in me!

BAH.
i think after saying all that, i'm still going to stick with marketing. haha. what a waste of time.


and speaking of results, i'm in the pretty neutral mood because this time round i've actually put in effort (unlike last sem where effort was only put into OB. hence the colourful results :P) and when i still don't do well, i can only say that, I LOOK LIKE I CAN DO ANYTHING INVOLVING NUMBERS/LAW/COMPUTERS MEH?
hm. you know, after giving it some thought, it really seems like i'm just not going to be doing well anyway. bloody hell, why can't i just take OB and marketing 5 times each. :(


the job was pretty brainless, and boring as hell, but hey if it means 10.50 per hour in a comfy office, i don't really care ;)


and jiayin wished me happy birthday all the way from the US of A! SO TOUCHED!! :D Good Friend sheepishly admitted that he really forgot my birthday but wished me anyway today. HAHA. oh, and a friend from work at the trade fair actually did wish me too! and i only knew him for a couple of days. :)

which can lead me to a topic that mol and i have discussed most spitefully a couple of times -winks- granted, both of us were extremely agitated and not in the rightest minds during those times, but i think the gist of it still holds. and it's during times like these i can surely say that we no longer hold out any, how do i put this, 感情, for this group.
tragic, i think, but it's not something which i'd brood over. because the remaining people that i actually care for, i still see on a regular basis.

what did they use to say about us?


didn't really last, did it? -shrugs in a dismissive manner-