Changing Priorities


priorities change.
sometimes some things were never even considered priorities in the first place.

actions reflect so crystal-clearly what a person's priorities are.


a trap.
and i wonder if the person fell headalong into it?
it would hardly be surprising.
of course, there would be reasons that would sound perfectly plausible.
after all, exactly the same reasons were given before weren't they?
everyone wants to justify their wrongdoings.
even i am doing so.



sometimes i feel so bloody inadequate in everything i do.
my results suck. i know certain people look down on me. i know some teachers dont think much of me (like get real, it's obvious alright?)
and what talents i ask you?
talents that would actually get me anywhere
so that's it when your results suck right?
you get stuck in singapore.
you get a degree which everyone else has.
you're just going to be statistic, an undergraduate who cannot find a job!

thank you. i know i probably shouldnt be comparing, but sometimes it just gets a little overwhelming.
the feeling of constantly thinking that i simply cannot match up to anyone around me haunts me
and sometimes it does get bad enough to make me want to shrink inside a shell and drown out the voices talking about scholarships and what-nots.
nobody's fault of course.


when i don't show it, it doesn't meant that i don't feel it.

sure. i can joke around with you. i can say hahaha my results suck to the core man.
but it's heartbreaking. still is. and i go around hearing people telling each other how their results suck because they got 3As and 1D. or something. BBCC perhaps.

crushing blows. one by one.
yes. people have told me that i still have my music, and maybe my writing.
but you know, being moderately good gets you nowhere.


sometimes i just wish i could be slightly smarter.





i sense the changing of situations.
not unlike a similar incident.
the only differing part is that
i'm not doing anything about it.
and it just goes to show.
actually how much it meant.


any vj students are a whole bunch of gossip mongers...
who says i'm complaining?
i am entertained constantly after all.


tears form behind my eyes. but i do not cry.

finally. to put thoughts into apt words.