we were so good today.
guan yu was almost flawless. (we shalt not mention the biscuit buying girl -nudge nudge-)
our music was reverberating around the entire concert hall.
we left people crying.
we actually made hc really worried.
linli said "gold with honours in no problem. trust me."
linli lehh.
and yes. we were good enough to make me cry. right in the middle of the piece.
i had to bite my lip.
the appluase we got at the end of the piece. gosh.
no one. no one could deny that we were great.


yet. yeah. you guessed it.
it's only a lousy gold.


i appluade hc. i guess they were really good.
but i don't give a shit about the honours part especially when the title was well-earned.
i think what broke all our hearts was that, the judges actually favoured a mediocre orchestra over us to perform at esplanade.
a mediocre orchestra who was so ecstactic to get a gold.
(you could just feel the disappointment when the traditionally strong orchestras like rj tj and us got merely a gold)
and now they think they're freaking good.



i feel sick right to my heart. again. this time, much worse.
i think all our hearts are broken in many places.


please don't tell me that we've done our best already so we shouldn't have any regrets.
i will understand that point someday, but right now.
my heart is shattered.
nobody cares about the hardwork you've put in.
they just take one look at your result and think, 'is that all?'

i swear, if anyone tells me any time soon, "why get so upset? syf only what. gold then gold la. so what!"
i will rip his mouth off his face.

nah. kidding.


please understand should i stare blankly into space anytime.
i need some time to get this shit out of my system.




when i get the scores from the teachers, i WILL REPORT IT TO THE WHOLE WORLD.
then the mediocre orchestra can just go eat shit.