unknown to many, i actually do have another blog.
where i really really say what i want to say.
actually why am i even bothering to tell you this? nobody has the password anyway.
besides, there are only about 4 entries. where i bitch about insignificant matters.
point being. insignificant. what was once important to me now seems almost laughable.


i want to be able to look back and laugh at what i once was.
because that would mean, i've finally moved one step forward.


how. i'm really sick and tired of it. h.o.w.h.o.w.h.o.w.
i'm sick and tired of feeling stupid and like a failure. which i am but that's besides the point.
tired.
really tired. reaaallly tired.


i loathe her because she took away something which meant the world to me, and i can't do anything about it, because it was my fault anyway.
am i not supposed to loathe her then?


self-loathing.

i hate spa because i'm stupid.
time and time again it has been proven that i've zero flair for any science subjects.
so what am i doing here
my confidence (what's left of it) and self esteem(ditto) has been dealt with blows after blows.
i just want to hide away in my room and not talk. o jate rbtunodfu!!!!!



don't read too much into what i type. i usually don't mean what i said.
maybe the blog should just be shut down.
and sorry, i do mean that.

ok maybe not.
but,
i'm really tired.
i don't know how much more of this i can take.