the most difficult thing
is not being able to say out what you really want to say
because there's nobody around that seems to understand
so you just keep it all inside
and it eats you up from in there.


you hold it in, until you can hold it in no more.


hence poor wil got a whole load of ranting from me today.
like -blublubblublublublublub-
because i got sick and tired and downright nauseated in trying to hold it in any longer. wait. that doesnt sound right but whatever.
believe me. i AM NAUSEATED. my stomach actually TURNS. not FLIPS mind you. TURNS.
revolted.
repulsed.
i am this close <--> to blowing up/throwing up(haha) one of these days.



and so hence thanks to exasperating matters like these i'm perpetually in a bad mood nowadays.
which doesnt bode well of course when there are even more annoying things like papers to worry about.


---------------------------------------------------------------
you've done it once,
now i suppose you want to do it again?
purely coincidental?
or purely intentional?
what's all this man. i'm sick of it.
i've worked hard to achieve what i've achieved
i've worked hard to get to where i am today
don't for a moment think that your puny efforts can get you half the results i've attained.
but you don't seem to understand that of course.
you still attempt to sabotage MY efforts.

and usually i would just laugh off your pathetic attempts

but i can't.

because like i've said before. when the seemingly impossible doesn't seem to be so impossible after all.
it terrifies me.
because it signifies the beginning of my failure.
the slowly but surely crumbling of all my years of hard work, all going to naught.
and what can i do? nothing.
but sit and pray that you do not succeed
because that would be the end of me.
---------------------------------------------------------------





dhsco up for performance tomorrow. how very degrading to perform all that lousy place. but whatever, because they would still SHINE. :)
am watching them of course, perhaps bringing along a carton of rotten eggs to throw at certain people. who don't even deserve to perform at such a lousy location. pui!
oh wait. waste of money and eggs.
well, they are just going to embarrass themselves, so no need for that.
sit back and laugh perhaps, that's what i'm going to do.
no, kidding again.
i'd just leave after dhsco and hcco then, it's 3 bucks only anyway.

eric! wo men yong yuan zi chi ni!! -waves poms poms-




blarh. i wanted madrid to win. cos i'm biased and i want raul to like singapore and come here more often :(
that aside, even though it's none of my business, i wanted paris to win
double :(
stupid beckham.



maybe someday you'd look up
and barely conscious, you'd say to no one
"isn't something missing?"




-edit-

perhaps i think too much?
but i wonder how many of you actually read into the previous entry?
i'd like to think more of you of course, don't take that reason away.
oh gosh. i seriously wonder how some of you think sometimes.