i'm gonna do some reflections now.
weird innit?
at this time of the day?
for goodness sake girl, u got school in another 6 hrs??
whatever. if i dont do it now, chances are i wont be doing it tmr either after the shock of the results.

okay.
i'm 17.
i can be self centered sometimes but mostly i put others before myself.
n that's when i get myself hurt.
but i shouldnt go into that.
i aint that clever, that's why i dread school tomorrow.
my results suck, but i know i don't excel in this area.
i admit i'm musically inclined. n i do so proudly. sue me?
(tt's the only thing i'm good at)
i can pick up any instrument in 2weeks. challenge me?!
have i made any great achievements?
besides those in co? which arent that great anyway.
so i was a part of the committee of the best CO in singapore.
yes. syf gold twice. nmc finals yada yada. concerts blah.
anyone can match that.
i have wonderful friends. (who make up for the tons of fake people around)
those all across the jcs in singapore.
hoifai jia and wilfred.
those back in dhsco. need i list out? my darling jrs. my fellow dhsco-vjco com pals. seah n lyd!!
my study grp mates.
jam n mandy. poh. the two TCHS idiots. heh.
some of the peeps from 04S35 whom i'm so amazingly comfortable with.

i'm not the best and i don't aspire to be.
i try to love life as much as possible because life's short.
i try to ignore the shit around me but sometimes it gets too much.
i have yet to have a real aim in life.
i'm not sure what i want to be when i grow up (that sounds absolutely juvenile but you get the gist)
i would love to have a job which either involves food, writing articles or music.
which brings me down to either nutritionist, writing for magazines or being a piano teacher.
i had actually wanted to be a paeditrician (bahh. what's the spelling) but thanks to chanks i gave up on the idea.
during the very first chem tutorial this was what he said: "those of you thinking of being doctors, be prepared to study for another 15 years"
i was like, ok i give up.
that's how easily i give up on dreams sometimes.
i over analyse everything.
sometimes i think i can be a psychologist but that's a doctor too.
i think too much. sometimes i'm wrong, but most of the time i'm right.
call it a gift or a curse.
(girls are always right. guys are shallow)
i know it's irrelevant here but i love linkinpark.
not just for the heavy metal.
but because their lyrics make absolute sense.
not like some soppy love song which everybody can write anyway.
n there's a limit to which one can endure love songs.
i don't regret coming to vjc.
for the fun. the sch spirit.
sometimes i wonder if i'm actually good enough for the school.
maybe i shld have went somewhere else.
then i wont be floundering trying to survive.
but vjc had always been my dream school since pri. sch.
i had my future all planned out then. dunman. vj.
but now. the future seems unsure.
forget it.

sod it. i'm off to sleep.