this is something for my friend who hasnt been feeling too happy nowadays due to some friendship problems.
dear girl, i do understand totally absolutely how u feel.
when i read ur blog, it was as if u were reading my mind. every single thing which i wanted to say but didnt know how to phrase, you put it into words.
it's gd tt you know there's no use regretting or what. but u must remember that it's perfectly normal if u still feel much sadness even after u claim to have given up.
well u know. i have told u my own experience.
it takes time. lots n lots n lots n lots of it. yea. like i mentioned before? 1. understand wat went wrong 2. apologise 3. leave emotional baggage behind.. blah blah so as to move on. but i used to feel that the above are all bullshit cuz it just isnt tt easy to do so.
i havent told you the whole story yet.
when i thought i found a friend so dear, then i lost it, the blow was so great.
yes so it wasnt like yours, but all the same, it was horrible.
there were so many times i felt so much sorrow n remorse. no many how many times i told myself it was all over n tt it was abt time i moved on n stop thinking abt it, i cldnt.
it bugged me so much for a period of time.
it became so extreme. there seemed to be so much hate from me n i cant stand tt. i hated the way it was changing me.
i was blaming myself. even though now tt i look back, i was onli partly at fault.
at first i thought there was some misunderstanding. but i cleared tt. n since he still refuses to forgive me, i have no more regrets.
i no longer brood over all tt has happened. because it isnt my fault anymore. i can say, "hey at least i tried!". i'm not the one acting like a big kid.
n i guess i have moved on.
i'm no longer sad. i dont hang on to the past. i dont think about it. i dont regret stuff.
n i'm glad i did. because looking back, it just wasnt worth it at all. sure i dont regret what i did. but it really hadnt been worth my time at all. it's not worth it when u're the one maintaining the frenship when the other juz bullshits you the whole time. well i'm not going to mention this again. i have wasted too much time ranting abt it.
so it took a long time. but eventually, i got over it.
dont worry girl. cuz you will too. maybe not so soon. but you will.
but of course i hope everything will turn out well again. as you said. your friend aint the extreme version of you n me.
so there may be a happy ending for you after all.
i do hope so.